Girls With Accents
by journaliar
Summary: You're a lot of things. Myka/HG Wells High School AU
1. Chapter 1

Title: Girls With Accents

Rating: M

Summary: _You're a lot of things._

Disclaimer: Not mine.

You're a lot of things.

A member of the mathletes, an honor roll student, lover of books, nationally ranked fencer, possible nerd or maybe even geek but one thing you are not, is a football fan…which is sort of a problem seeing as you live in the Midwest where football is like a religion.

Honestly, you don't get the appeal of oversized, steroid filled man children trying to kill one another for minute upon impossibly long minute but the need to, at least sorta, fit in with your peers is half the reason you're packed into the metal bleachers like a sardine, freezing your ass off, ignoring your cheering classmates while you read page after worn out page of Wuthering Heights, looking up every once in a while to check the score.

The other reason you are here is on the field and is wearing jersey number 8.

Pete Lattimer, star quarterback of what just may be the worst team in the state and arguably the most popular guy in school, is also, inexplicably, your best friend. The two of you have been more or less inseparable since the fourth grade when you threw a haymaker that fractured Bobby Bilson's jaw after he tried to hoist Pete up the flag pole by his tightly whities.

"Your boyfriend is about to score."

The accent is what really draws your attention away from your book because you're use to hard vowels and over enunciated consonants and this soft, lilting voice is the complete opposite of that.

You pull your eyes away from the pages to meet the amused gaze of the girl sitting beside you.

She's beautiful but not in the obvious blonde hair, big boobs way, she's beautiful in a better, more real ,way that's sort of striking and she must be new because you've never seen her before.

"I, uh…my what?" You blurt, shutting your book absently while this girl in a way expensive black wool coat, chuckles, twisting her body towards yours.

"You're boyfriend." She says gesturing towards the field with a gloved hand. "Uniform number 8, oddly square head."

You glance at the field and sure enough the team is just about on the goal line but you frown.

"Pete? Ew, no. He's not my boyfriend." You clarify. "I mean, not that he's disgusting or anything, though he does have his moments, but he and I are just friends…only friends."

"Oh, I apologize." This girl murmurs in an accent that seems way too pretty for a place like this. "I just thought…"

"It's fine…" You start but you're cut off by the crowds sudden cheering and when you glance at the field Pete is doing some sort of funky chicken dance in the end zone. The girl beside you just smiles and stays seated while everyone around you stands in celebration, like they don't even realize that even with that touchdown the other team is still winning 49 to 7.

"Do you have a name?" The girl yells over the roar of the crowd, leaning towards you just a bit and its hard not to notice the way she has eyes like a Disney princess.

"I'm Myka." You smile as the crowd settles, twisting your paperback in your hand nervously because there's something in the way that this girl looks at you with curious eyes and a mouth that looks like she's always one breath away from smiling. "Bering. Myka Bering."

"It's nice to meet you, Myka Bering." She says easily and for some reason that makes a blush flood your cheeks and you suck in a cold breath in a vain attempt to stop yourself from turning the bright, bright, red you know you're capable of. "I'm Helena G. Wells."

She thrusts her hand towards you formally and you take it with the hand doesn't currently have a death grip on your book, the leather of her gloves smooth against your icy palm. Her hand feels so dainty compared to yours and you'd be a little concerned about your monstrous hands if you weren't so focused on her name.

"Helena G?" You breathe around a smile. "Your name is HG Wells?"

"Yes," Helena chuckles, squeezing your fingers once, then again before slowly releasing her grip. "My parents thought it was quite clever."

"No, it is. It so is." You grin, shaking your head a little bit, reaching back to scratch your neck nervously.

"Well then, feel free to call me HG if you'd like. My friends back home do." HG smiles a little, eyes scanning over your face quickly and you tuck your hair behind your ears nervously. "I've seen you around school, you know. Well, mostly just the top of your head what with the way you're nose is always tucked in a book. I've got half a mind to believe you navigate the halls with sonar alone."

You wince, squeezing your eyes shut and pushing your hair out of your face before covering your eyes in humiliation. "God, I'm such a geek."

"It's quite charming, actually." HG laughs brightly and you peak at her from between your own cold fingers, smiling helplessly even though the cold air makes your face feel numb and your cheeks ache as your hand drops away from your face. "There are not a lot of girls like you inhabiting these parts."

"And that's a good thing?" You laugh self deprecatingly.

"I'd like to think so." HG gives you a look that makes the back of your neck warm.

"So, you're new here?" You ask clearing your throat and swallowing down the strange warm, bubbly feeling swelling in your chest. "Because, I haven't seen you around before and, like, I've gone to school with most of the people here since preschool."

"It's only my second week." HG confirms, rubbing her hands together. "It's quite a change from the all girls academy I use to go."

"Yeah, well, the mid west is definitely its own special kind of hell." You sigh, glancing back at the field just in time to watch Pete get sacked by someone twice his size.

The crowd groans loudly and you wince in sympathy as his teammates more or less peel him off of the ground.

"I have to admit when I heard about the football game, I thought it was an entirely different sport." HG mutters and you laugh a little.

"Right, because where you're from football is…ya know…" You make a kicking gesture and HG nods.

"Yes, exactly." HG chuckles. "Which means I am not quite following the game."

"Oh! Well, I mean, I'm no expert or anything but I can help." You offer.

"That would be lovely."

You spend the rest of the game with HG pressed against your side, laughing in your ear, while you try to explain to her what exactly is happening even though you're not exactly a football aficionado but the way she leans into you and looks interested is, for reasons unknown, enough for you to continue bumbling your way through explanations.

Conversation slips from football to other far more interesting things and when the game ends with an entirely unsurprising loss, your words trail into a sigh as the people around you make their way dejectedly out of the stands.

It kind of really sucks because you want to keep talking to this girl despite the fact that your butt is freezing on this stupid metal bench.

"If I can be completely honest." HG starts quietly, smiling a little bit. "I'm a bit sad that the game has ended."

"Because you have a new found love of North American football thanks to my infinite wisdom?" You offer, rubbing your bare hands together absently in a vain attempt to keep your fingers from freezing off.

"No," She laughs, gloved hands reaching out to cover your own and your long fingers look almost ridiculous surrounded by her smaller hands but you can't even focus on that because your way more concerned about the way your heart is suddenly _throbbing. _"Because I'm enjoying your company. Quite a bit actually... Despite your surprisingly limited knowledge of the sport."

You can't tell if she's blushing or if it's the cold making pink blossom high in her cheeks but either way this girl is making your heart thump with too much force behind your ribs and that is just…weird.

"I liked talking to you too." You admit, watching her fingers squeeze yours before drifting away. "But, ya know, we'll probably see each other again since we go to the same school." You offer with a grin and HG nods, chuckling softly.

"You're probably right." HG laughs, standing slowly and you watch her rise, clutching your book to your chest just in case your heart decides to break free of your ribs. "And I look forward to running into you in the future."

You give her a wave and don't bother fighting the stupid grin that splits your face cheek to cheek.

/

You're doing that thing that Pete hates… reading…in public.

He swears it's the reason that you haven't reached your full popularity potential no matter how many times you explain to him that you don't care about being popular, that you're just trying to survive high school long enough to graduate and escape this small town.

Your read over the words carefully, like it's the first time you've read Of Mice and Men and not like you've read it so much that the book is practically falling apart while you lean a shoulder against your locker and wait for Pete to show up.

You're flipping to the next page when you realize that someone is watching you and when you drop your book you reveal an absolutely amused H.G.

"Hello there."

It's been nearly a week and a half since the football game and besides a few glimpses in the halls that made your chest inexplicably tight, you haven't really had a chance to interact with her even though you've had the overwhelming urge to have more contact with her.

"Oh my god, HG." You sputter, straightening up and blushing furiously which seems to be your body's go to reaction upon coming into contact with this girl and that thought makes you flush even brighter. "I didn't even-even see you there."

"Well, you were definitely preoccupied." She says easily, tilting her head to side and giving a quick once over that makes your skin feel tingly. "But its fine. It's more than fine actually."

"More than fine?" You ask, swinging your back pack off of your shoulder and around to your chest so you can shove your book inside. "What do you mean?"

"Just that I've been looking forward to the chance to converse with you again." HG smiles warmly and you feel one corner of your mouth twist upwards while you twist your bag back over your shoulder. "I was just going to get something to eat. I do believe there is an infamous pizza parlor nearby." HG tips her head and smiles in a totally endearing way. "Maybe you can accompany me and you can tell me what you find so fascinating about Steinbeck."

It's a simple suggestion but the way she says its is vaguely flirtatious and you glance over your shoulder to makes sure that she, is in fact, speaking to you with that smirk on her lips and that lilt in her voice.

"Oh, I don't…know." You murmur awkwardly because it sounds like she's asking you out which is just ludicrous because you're not into girls, not really and besides, even if you were…there's no way that this very beautiful girl would want to date nerdy, gangly, you. "I have to meet Pete and help him study for a math test."

"Hmm, well then if possible I'm even _happier _to have run into you because I've been having quite a bit of difficulty with my own arithmetic." HG says seriously and you frown even as your mouth quirks upwards slowly.

You regard her skeptically and she meets your squinted gaze innocently. "Ya know, you're shorter than I remember."

This makes HG's eyebrows lower and take a step closer to you. "Ah, so you've been thinking about me then?"

Embarrassment makes heat flare up the back of your neck and thankfully Pete chooses this moment to jog up to you, emerging from the sea of students. "I'm here! I'm here! Don't hit me."

"You're late." You point out needlessly, tugging your gaze away from HG to frown at him.

"Dude, I know but there was this lizard…." He trails off, blinking at HG like he just noticed her standing beside you. "Hey, who're you?"

"Helena Wells." She offers politely and there's a weird moment where they eyeball each other, Pete looking completely into her and Helena looking…something else entirely.

"HG's going to join our little tutoring session." You interject and HG smiles happily.

"Ah, yes, well we all have our Achilles heel." HG sighs. "Mine, it seems, is mathematics."

Pete bursts into loud, awkward, forced laughter before giving H.G. what he has dubbed his 'smoldering' look. "Don't we all."

/

"So, am I a lost cause." H.G. asks delicately, chair creaking as she leans across the table, towards you and you don't bother fighting the smile taking over your face while you look over her paper, eyes tracing over the numbers quickly.

"Not quite." You smirk, meeting her dark gaze. "Because even though your answers are wrong, all of the math is done right which is very, very strange."

"That is quite peculiar." H.G. murmurs, eyebrow arching slowly and you feel yourself grin wider. "So I guess that means I will have to continue interposing your little study sessions then."

"I guess it does." You whisper, twisting your pencil between your fingers absently while you watch her lips turn upwards into a full smile.

"Brilliant." HG sighs, dropping her chin into her palm for a moment and you meet her gaze evenly.

"What?" You finally ask when you realize that she's just staring at you, dark eyes unreadable.

"I was just thinking…" She starts quietly, leaning forward like it's a secret and you sink forward too, listening eagerly. "about how much I am enjoying your company."

"Aw, we enjoy your company too HG." Pete declares, dropping the stack of math books you sent him to find, on the table and you jerk backwards, realizing how close you actually are to HG.

"Both of you?" She asks with a grin and there you go again, blushing.

"Oh yeah, especially me." He offers lasciviously, dropping noisily into the chair besides yours. "And Mykes hates everybody so you should feel lucky that she actually likes you."

"I do not _hate _everybody." You frown, giving his shoulder a shove. "Unless by everyone you mean you."

"See what I mean?" Pete mutters, rubbing his shoulders.

"Well I'm pleased to have made it into both your and Myka's good graces." HG smiles but her eyes are on you and for a breathless moment you can't look away.

"Pleased enough to let me take you out this weekend?" Pete asks, arching an eyebrow and you roll your eyes at HG playfully.

"Not quite." HG smirks, still looking at you and you touch your neck, feel it get ridiculously hot under her gaze.

"Ouch! Shot down." Pete declares loudly, immediately shushed by the other people in the library. "Don't shush me people! Have some compassion for a man rejected!"

"Pete!" You hiss, shoving him again and he nearly tips out of his chair. "Shut up."

"Alright. Alright." He grunts, rubbing his shoulder. "So, I have a proposition for you ladies."

"Proposition? My that's a large word." HG mutters and you try to hide the grin splitting your face.

"I find your sense of humor so sexy." Pete growls low in his throat and you chuckle, leaning back in your chair while HG grimaces at Pete.

"What is it Pete?" You interject and Pete gives HG one more lingering look before giving you his attention.

"My parents are out of town and you know what that means?" Pete beams, poking in your side over and over and you bat at his hands.

"That your parents couldn't stand being near you any longer and ran away?" HG offers cheekily and you muffle a laugh.

"Nooo!" Pete says, drawing out the word and shaking his head. "It _means,_ my beautiful little crumpet,its party time at Casa de Lattimer!"

You glance across the table to see HG's eyes light up at Pete's announcement while Pete does the Cabbage Patch beside you in his chair.

"It's has been a while since I've attended any sort of shindig." HG murmurs excitedly.

"God, I love it when you speak British." Pete declares, still dancing and you roll your eyes, shuffling the papers in front of you.

"Will you be going, Myka?" HG ask nonchalantly but her eyes are bright and clear and you lick your lips absently.

"I don't really do parties." You mutter with a shrug, doodling in the corner of HG's paper thoughtlessly.

"But you're doing this party, Mykes. I will not let you spend another weekend all alone. In the dark. Surrounded by books. And-and cats and-" Pete starts and you frown at him.

"I do not spend my weekends _alone _in the _dark _with _cats_. I don't even have any _cats_." You sputter indignantly, "I just don't see what's so great about being surrounded by sweaty, drunken, fornicating people."

"Oh darling, you have to go." HG laughs and you shrug, peeking up at her "I do believe you're missing the point."

"I don't think so." You sigh, twisting a hand through your hair. "I don't know."

"Don't worry, HG. She'll be there. I'll make sure of it." Pete says it like a threat and you glare at him while he smiles sweetly back.

/


	2. Chapter 2

Pete is annoying.

You've spent years and years completely aware of this fact and yet there are still times you find yourself actually surprised by the levels of irritating he is capable of reaching.

"Myka. Myka. Myka. Myka. Myka. _Myka_. _Myyyyyykaaaaa_."

Now is one of those times.

Your pencil snaps suddenly in your hand, folding into your palm with a crack and you fist the splinters of wood and lead tightly, turning to glare at Pete in the desk beside you.

"Pete, if you don't shut up I'm going to punch your teeth so far down your throat you'll have to drop your pants to floss." You bite out, hurling your broken pencil pieces at him across the aisle and Pete ducks the flying shards of wood with a laugh that makes you want to make good on your promise.

"That's kinda violent even for you Mykes." Pete chuckles, leaning over in his desk and across the narrow space separating the two of you to tug at a curl of your hair. "But not even the possibility of swallowing my own teeth will make me stop. Only the acceptance of my invitation to Pete-a-palooza this weekend."

"Damn it, Pete. I swear…" You start, batting at his hands angrily and drawing the attention of your teacher who glares at both of you.

"Do I need to separate the two of you." Mr. Stevens calls from the front of the room, adjusting his sweaty toupee slightly.

"Yes!" You yelp.

"No!" Pete blurts over you. "No. No. We're copasetic."

Mr. Stevens just turns back to the board and you glare over at Pete who is smiling and fluttering his eyes at you and when the bell goes off, you don't think you've ever been more grateful.

You jump up quickly, slinging your bag over your shoulder and hustling out into the hallway, in an attempt to loose him in the flood of students and you're plan would work if you weren't a giant.

"Hey, hey, hey." Pete singsongs, following behind you. "What's the rush?"

"Pete, I suggest you leave me alone before I punch your face in." You call over your shoulder, making a beeline for you locker while Pete gives chase.

"Mykes, what's up? Is it that time of the month? You PM-"

"Do not finish that acronym Pete or I swear…" You trail off with a glare and Pete puts his hands up in surrender.

"Sorry. Sorry." He laughs, watching you open your locker. "I just really want you to come to my fiesta."

"Why?" You frown at him, pulling books out of your backpack.

"Myka, you're my bro. That's why I want you there." Pete says like its obvious and you really hate when he's all sweet and stuff because it makes it nearly impossible to be pissed at him. "And besides, you need to get laid."

"Shut up." You sigh, shutting your locker.

"Is that a yes?" Pete asks, waggling his eyebrows at you and you scowl.

"No! Why can't you understand and accept that I have no desire to spend a night in a-a cesspool of alcohol and drugs and-and semen." You blurt and Pete frowns at you.

"Whoa! Whoa! Who said anything about semen?" He cries as you brush past him to your next class then stop suddenly.

It's HG and your breath does not _hitch _at the sight of her. No, you're sure that the annoying hiccup in your lungs comes from the sight of HG walking down the hall with your _sister _and her posse of glossy haired friends.

"Whoa, I didn't know HG was hanging out with Tracy." Pete says over your shoulder and you blink at the sight, sort of hoping it will disappear but it doesn't.

"Neither did I." You exhale, catching HG's eyes briefly before taking off in the opposite direction.

* * *

You have plans to visit The Louvre.

You're hopping the first plane to Paris after graduation and you're going to spend hours wandering down the halls and corridors and be thoroughly surrounded by masterpieces. Ideally, Pete will also be there if you don't kill him before hand.

But that is a year and a half away and right now, working in the local town museum is as close as you're going to get to France. And sure, there's no Mona Lisa hanging on the walls or Venus de Milo on exhibit but there is a collection of what are _hopefully _Sioux Indian arrowheads and not just really pointy rocks on display and what is possibly a letter written by a General in the Dakota War of 1862, though admittedly its probably someone's old shopping list.

Either way, fake artifacts or not, you still love working here…sort of…most of the time…

Not really right now, not with a ten page inventory list in your hands and the inescapable urge to be anywhere but here.

You're elbow deep in a display of 'ancient' animal bones when the front door chimes cheerfully, announcing the only museum buff of the day.

"Myka!" Artie, your boss, calls in a singsong voice from his cluttered office back office. "Greet the guests!"

You roll your eyes, rounding a statue of what is supposed to be Cheyenne Indian but looks very similar to the Jolly Green Giant.

"Welcome to the…" The words die on your lips as HG comes into sight, hands tucked into her coat pockets and lips turned into a teasing smile. "…HG."

"Myka, what a surprise meeting you here." HG declares with a thick layer of faux innocence and fake surprise. "Here I am attempting to peruse the both awe inspiring and educational history of this lovely town and I bump right into you."

"Weird." You mutter, tipping your chin upwards and eyeing her suspiciously as she practically saunters into the museum. She lets you eyeball her for a while longer before her shoulders drop and a guilty grin slides over her lips. The whole thing is ridiculously attractive, really.

"Though, I have to admit that I may have persuaded you're 'not' boyfriend Pete to inform me of your after school activities for me to better run into you unexpectedly." HG admits with sheepish grin and you smile, scratching your head. "It was surprisingly easy. It seems he will do most anything for a Snickerdoodle."

"You know you could've just asked me." You point out, watching HG walk from display to display. "I would've told you about my lame after school job. You didn't have to stalk me."

"That would've been quite forward of me not to mention far less _stimulating_." She says, glancing at you over her shoulder with a charming flip of her hair.

"There's nothing wrong with being forward." You offer, your eyes tracking HG's every movement as she meanders through the museum and you follow stupidly, trailing behind her like a puppy.

"Besides, stalking is sort of romantic in its own right. Don't you agree?" HG calls to you and you just smile.

She takes off down the hall towards the 'antique' coin display and you follow, folding your arms over your stomach as it twists and flips behind your ribs.

"I guess…So, what're you doing here?" You call eagerly and HG spins around to face you, walking backwards slowly. "I mean, you didn't come all the way here to woo me with your slightly psychotic romance tactics."

"Didn't I?" she laughs lightly and you pause, dropping your arms at your side while something powerful flickers in your stomach.

"You…" you start but whatever else was on you tongue melts into nervous laughter.

"I do enjoy teasing you, Myka." HG grins , blatantly ignoring the multiple 'Do Not Touch' signs and dragging her fingertips over anything she can. "I am here because I enjoy your company."

"Oh," You blush, tucking your hair behind your ears as HG enters a room that's supposed to be closed to the public. "Okay."

HG glances back at you for a moment, pinning you with her gaze and you stare back helplessly, reaching upwards to rub at the back of your neck. "You look lovely by the way."

"I-uh…" Is all you manage to articulate while you frown down at your flannel shirt, long sleeves loose around your wrist and the beat up old sneakers peeking out from beneath your Levi's and you wonder if HG is screwing around with you.

"I like your glasses." She adds sincerely.

"Thanks." You forgot you were wearing the damn things and you try not to blush as you adjust your glasses on your face, fighting the urge to rip them off and tuck them in your pocket. "Thank you."

"So, what time will you be finished here?" she asks and you lean against the door jam as HG floats around the room, touching any and everything.

"Not for a couple of hours." You sigh, waving your inventory list at her.

"Well, do you think you could leave early? Maybe, sneak away for the rest of the day?" HG wonders almost hopefully and you realize that you want to go with her, to just shuck responsibility for a little while and go wherever she wants to take you and that feeling is definitely brand new.

"I want to." You admit, furrowing your brow and shaking your head. "But my boss, Artie, he won't…"

And its like Artie has a sixth sense or something because his office door is creaking open and the two of you turn just in time to see him round the corner, arm full of books and glasses perched on the tip of his nose.

"Hi, Artie!" You greet, too enthusiastically and Artie gives you a apprehensive look. "Hey."

"Hello, Myka." He greets warily, eyeing H.G. the entire time. "Who's your friend?"

"Oh that's…" You start but HG is smiling charmingly and stepping forward with an outstretched hand.

"Helena Wells, sir. Myka and I attend school together." She says cheerfully and Artie takes her hand slowly, juggling his books into one arm, eyes wary behind the glasses balancing on the bridge of his nose.

"You're classmates?" He wonders, closing his book with one hand.

"I am a year older than Myka but we do attend the same school." HG declares releasing Arties hand and you watch him flex his fingers.

"Yeah, Helena is actually friends with my sister, Tracy." You offer underhandedly, grinning a little when HG's eyes dart towards you.

"Yes, well, I've just stopped by to take a look at the museum. Myka's spoken so highly of it." HG says, eyes lingering on yours for just a moment and if Artie notices the false enthusiasm dripping from her words it doesn't stop him from swelling with pride when she gives him her full attention. "You have some of the most peculiar pieces. If you'd like I can have my uncle come and attempt to authenticate some of the more…suspect items for you."

You wince as Artie's shoulders drop, pressing your fingertips to your mouth and frowning.

"All of the pieces here are authentic, young lady. I do not need your _uncle _to confirm that for me." He huffs before turning back towards you. "A package should be arriving any moment. Call me when it gets here."

Then Artie is storming away and you watch him disappear followed by the slamming of his office door.

" I assume I offended him?" HG shrugs, twisting on her heel to face you and you shrug.

"Artie's always offended. Don't worry about it." You sigh, tucking your inventory list against your chest. "But I'm pretty sure he's not going to let me off early now."

"Do you really need his permission?" HG asks, cocking a fine eyebrow at you like a challenge.

"He's my boss so…yes." You say, biting your bottom lip and HG rolls her eyes like you're the one being ridiculous here before stepping towards you, closer, too close and your teeth sink deeper into your lip.

"So, your sister is Tracy?" She questions softly and you nod.

"She is."

"I had no idea." HG hums and you're not surprised because you and Tracy don't exactly give that impression. Tracy has fantastic, sleek hair and limbs that are proportional to her body and is friends with, like, _everyone _because she's class president and beautiful and you're ..well, you. The two of you just don't hang out in the same circles.

"Its fine. Its-" You swallow, shrugging. "It's not a big deal."

"She's very nice, your sister." HG continues, words careful now. "Sort of took me beneath her wing on my first day."

"Because you're pretty and smart and Tracy kinda likes to surround herself with people she deems genetically superior to the rest of us." You mutter, toeing the carpet absently before glancing up at her while she watches you thoughtfully. "HG, why're you really here?"

"I've come to convince you to attend Pete's get together. If not for yourself than for me." She pleads sweetly and your knee jerk reaction is to say yes which is weird because you don't really ever have knee jerk reactions. "I hardly know anyone at all besides your sister and her friends, who've decided not to attend and I'd hate to be there like some sort of recluse or outsider. All alone."

"I..I don't…" You start helplessly. "My dad isn't…"

"You," HG cuts you off, reaching out to tug your inventory list out of your arm and for whatever reason, you just let her, watching as the pages flutter carelessly to the ground. "Need to live a little."

You laugh at that, scratching your forehead in disbelief because you realize as HG reaches down to snag your other hand, fingers locking together, you're not going to tell her no.

"I…" You trail off into nothing for a moment, gazing into her eyes for a little too long before looking away.. "I'll think about it."

"Promise?" She asks, mischief in her eyes like she just knows you're going to give in, while her thumb drags distracting patterns against your palm and you have absolutely no fight in you. You breathe her name and HG licks at her top lip, dark eyes focused on yours. "C'mon, promise you'll at least consider joining me."

"Like your date?" You blurt then immediately blush but HG just grins, slow and predatory and you blush more.

"If you'd like." She's all smarmy charm that should in no way be attractive and yet it is. "I'd be honored to have you on my arm."

This nervous, ugly sound escapes your throat and you press your hand to your throat absently, feel the skin under your fingertips get ridiculously hot.

"I'll consider going." You finally huff, rolling your eyes. "I promise."

"That's all I ask." She murmurs, releasing your hand slowly and you glance down at your fingers as they unlace carefully. "And now that I've offended your boss and begged you to attend a party with me, it's probably time for me to take my leave."

"Or…" you start thoughtlessly and HG cocks an eyebrow at you.

"Or?" She wonders, biting her lip around a smile and you shove your hands into your back pockets nervously.

"You could stay and I could show you our fossil collections." You offer, "We have what is either the bones of a Woolly Mammoth or the remains of a really big cow."

HG laughs a little, the sound trapped in her chest and it rattles around in your head. "Consider me intrigued."

* * *

Claudia Donovan is the smartest person you've ever met. Like, you're sure her brain is at least three or four times the size of a normal humans, probably ten or twelve times the size of Pete's.

Claudia is also eleven years old.

She's the product of parents that work too much, a brilliant mind and way too much time on the internet which means she's smarter than everyone else in her age group and has a hard time making friends.

It also means it takes both you and Pete to baby-sit and to keep anyone, specifically Pete, from ending up hogtied in the closet…again.

"Pete, can I paint your toenails?"

She's still an eleven year old girl though.

"Sure. I guess." Pete huffs beside you on the Donovan's dainty, uncomfortable couch and you watch Claudia sit cross legged at Pete's feet, bottle of bright pink nail polish in her hand while a cartoon movie that only Pete is watching blares on the TV.

He'd never admit it, mostly because Claudia has done some epically evil things to him in the past, but Pete's got a huge soft spot for Claudia Donovan.

"So…" You start, watching Claudia frown and gag as Pete toes off his shoes then his socks revealing troll toes. "Guess who showed up at the museum after school."

You watch Pete's face get all guilty before he says "Who?"

"You know who!" You grunt, punching him in the shoulder _hard _and he only winces like he expected it. "HG, that's who! You sold me out for a cookie!"

"It was a snickerdoodle." Pete bites out, rubbing his shoulder and grinning down at Claudia who laughs brightly. "Totally worth it."

"Who's HG?" Claudia wonders, smearing ridiculous pink paint on Pete's hairy big toe.

"This smoking hot crumpet from across the pond." Pete sighs dreamily. "She wanted to know where she could find you and I told her that you were probably at the museum cleaning chicken bones and trying to pass them off as Dodo bird fossils or something. What did she want? What did she say about me? What was she wearing?"

You roll your eyes, nudging Claudia in the hip playfully with toe of your shoe when she murmurs. "Raphus cucullatus."

"She just wanted to know if I was going to your stupid party." You say casually even though you can feel your face getting hot.

"And?" Pete questions, bushy eyebrows quirking together and you sigh, glancing down as Claudia brushes more polish on his toes.

"I promised her I'd _think _about it." You finally mutter and Pete jumps to his feet, making Claudia yelp and fumble her little bottle of polish while predictably Pete begins shaking his butt all around the living room.

"Why is this happening?" Claudia squawks, covering her eyes.

"Because! An 'I'll think about it' from Myka is like an RSVP from anyone else and you know what that means?" He shouts, reaching down to pull Claudia to her feet and she goes gleefully. "It means me and Mykes gonna get our party on."

"Mykes and I…" You correct, trying not to grin as Pete swings Claudia around the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Pete face splits into a grin as soon as he lays eyes on you which is nearly as soon as you walk through the front door of his house and into the thickened, buzzing atmosphere filling the space.

"Well if it isn't the cat lady." He greets over the music and the hum that comes with a house full of people. "On the prowl for a little action?"

You roll your eyes at him as he claws at the air between the two of you with a hiss.

"..I'm leaving." you threaten, already turning towards the door and Pete grabs you by the shoulders, dragging you backwards and spinning you around.

"Whoa. Hey, I was just teasing." Pete laughs, tugging you into a hug that's warm and smells like aftershave and root beer. "I'm glad you're here."

"Do I look stupid?" you ask, squeezing him back and hooking your chin over his shoulder. "I feel like I look stupid."

"Mykes, you look smoking." Pete says sincerely, reaching down to squeeze your ass a little and you shove him away with a laugh. "Both your T and A are looking magnificent."

"Thanks, I think." You smile, running a self conscious hand through your hair but you frown when you notice Pete smoothing down his shirt and looking at you expectantly, while his chest puffs and his shoulders square. "What?"

"Myka," He whines, deflating completely. "It's rude to not return a compliment."

"Pete." You grin, rolling your eyes and shaking your head before carefully flicking your fingers through his hair. "You look great."

"I know this!" He answers, chest expanding again and then you watch him preen like a peacock.

"So…is, uhm…Is HG here? Or…" You trail off in an attempt to keep your voice even because you're not eager to see her or anything.

"Oh yeah, she's somewhere around here. Looking smoking hot per usual." Pete nods, glancing around the quickly growing crowd. "I'm just waiting for an opening, ya know. My time to strike if you know what I mean."

There's a sudden, ugly feeling in your belly and you give Pete a tight smile, "I know what you mean."

"So, your dad just let you come tonight? I mean, I know your dad doesn't exactly love me…"

"My dad hates you. You know that." You interrupt and Pete grimaces. "So, I had to lie to him. He thinks I'm at SAT prep tonight."

"SAT prep? The girl that has been ready to take the SATs since kindergarten? On a Saturday night? Dude, your dad is so dense sometimes." Pete sighs and you shrug.

"He just doesn't notice." you mutter and Pete's eyes get all soft and sympathetic.

"He's missing out." Pete says after a moment before slinging an arm around your shoulders. "C'mon Champ, lemme buy you a drink."

* * *

You'll never forgive Pete for this.

Which is saying a lot because Pete has done a lot of things, including accidentally knocking your great grandmother's urn off of the mantle which unsurprisingly led to your father permanently banning him from your house and you've forgiven him for that and most of the other stuff but this…this is unforgivable.

Attempting to set you up with, what may just be, the dumbest thing walking upright is inexcusable no matter how well intentioned.

"So, do you like movies…" You blink at the big, muscled jock hovering in front of you and you have to battle to keep a frown from taking over your face because what kind of question is that , really? You seriously doubt anyone is going around proclaiming their general hatred for movies.

"Yeah, yeah." You nod and the plastic cup creaks a little in your hand as you press it to your mouth and wonder what you ever did to Pete to make him attempt to hook you up with this guy, Joey Brooks who, miraculously, is dumber than he looks. "I, uhm, I like movies."

The house is packed full of bodies and music and the air is thick and warm and you kind of wish this guy would back off a little bit because alcohol is making you sweat and the way he's looming over you, with one hand pressed to the wall over your head while the other clutches a beer, is a bit suffocating.

"That's cool…So, I've never seen you around school before…" Joey grins in a way that is slow and probably charming to girls that aren't you. "I mean, I would've noticed you because you are _hot._."

He looks you up and down and your skin crawls accordingly. "Actually, we had American History together last year."

You tune him out as he attempts to talk himself out of this, glancing past his massive form absently and your eyes drift aimlessly across the crowd, pausing to glare at Pete who gives you a thumbs up with the hand not holding a can of root beer, until you focus across the room and HG Wells is staring back at you with dark eyes and a ridiculous smirk.

Your heart does a funny leap behind your ribs when she arches an eyebrow and you tip your cup against your lips to hide the smile taking over your face while you watch HG excuse herself from the group of guys surrounding her and make her way towards you.

"Myka?" You tear your eyes from HG, from HG's _hips_, as she approaches and blink up at Joey. "Did you hear me?"

"No, I'm sorry." You say, clearing your throat.

"I said, I want to take you out." Joey says it like what he really means is 'I wanna get into your pants.' which is so, so, _so _not happening.

"I, uh…"

Thankfully, HG chooses that moment to more or less _saunter _up to you, taking your free hand in both of hers and pressing up against your side.

"Myka," HG smiles sweetly and you swallow at how close she is to you, how her fingers feel sliding down your forearm into the space between yours. "I'm so happy you came."

"Me too. I think." Is all you manage because you're brain isn't really cooperating and HG just bites her bottom lip before looking up at Joey like she just realized he was standing there.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but I need to steal her away." HG apologizes too adamantly for it to be sincere and you hide your smile as HG tugs you out from under Joey's massive form, leaving him completely bewildered.

She pulls you through the throng of people, glancing back at you every couple of steps like she's making sure you're still there despite the way your grasping her hand.

"You looked as if you could use rescuing." HG says over her shoulder and you roll your eyes as she leads you across the room.

"I think maybe I did."

* * *

"Listen up, people!" Pete bellows over the crowd as people circle around the kitchen island, HG warm against your side while you swallow fairly putrid tasting beer and you know there's a rule about not mixing beer and liquor and even though you can't really remember it, you're pretty sure you're breaking it. "The game is called Suck and Blow!"

"Suck and Blow? Isn't that a delightfully crude name for a game." HG says beside you over hoots and hollers and you laugh a little as Pete holds up a playing card, the ace of hearts flashing between his fingertips as he flips it over and over in his hand. "All you have to do is pass the card around but with only your mouths. Suck to keep it against your lips and blow to pass it."

This game is juvenile and ridiculous and bound to end with someone's unwelcome tongue in some other person's unsuspecting mouth but you keep that to yourself because people are cheering and shuffling around to stand by someone they wouldn't mind swapping spit with if the card did, for some reason, fail to be passed successfully.

You try to move away from HG because it seems like everyone is pretty much shifting to make things boy-girl which makes sense and Pete looks like he wants to slot into the space between the two of you but there's a finger hooking in your belt loop when you try to slide away and you glance down to see HG's fingertip twisted around your denim.

You don't move, just grip your beer can tighter.

Pete moves beside you, cocking an eyebrow at you and you shrug as the card starts moving around the circle and you're fairly certain Pete plans on screwing you over to get your spot next to HG.

You watch the card moving around the circle and your heart just pounds louder and louder until you're watching HG take the card from a guy with a shaved head and your own heartbeat is making you nearly deaf.

You lick your lips as HG turns to you, playing card affixed to her mouth and cheeks a little bit hollow and everything in your chest gets tight. You watch her eyebrows quirk upwards just a little, like maybe she'd be smiling a little bit if she weren't so busy keeping a card plastered to her lips and the tightness in your chest gets a little worst or maybe it's a little better. It's really hard to tell.

You wet your lips again, ignoring the aftertaste of beer on your bottom lip before leaning forward just a little bit and HG meets you the rest of the way. You keep your eyes open and so does she as the card comes in contact with your parted lips, drawing in a quick breath to keep it there while HG exhales lightly and you're pretty sure the gentle pressure coming from the other side of the playing card is her _tongue_. You're not sure if that's cheating or not but it makes you flush and try to suck in more air while your heart picks up speed in your rib cage and there's a reeling, breathless moment that your afraid the organ will erupt from your chest a la the movie Alien that Pete insists you watch every Halloween.

She's easing away then, just far enough that her mouth is no longer connected to the card and with the space the threat of your heart bursting open from your torso doesn't lessen. It wont because she's staring at you with her head tipped to the side and you can't look away.

You blink at her stupidly because the feeling inside of you has struck you kinda dumb but then she's grinning like she knows _something _and you realize dimly that people around you are cheering loudly because two girls just sorta made out, you get it.

You manage to gather yourself enough to turn to the person behind you, Pete, and hook your hand behind his neck and haul him towards you. He lets out a yelp as you smash the card to his mouth, sucking in hard while you exhale, ridding yourself of the damn card before turning around.

"I-I need to get some air."

* * *

"Not hiding from me, I hope."

You are but instead of telling HG that you just keep wriggling your feet in the deep end of the pool that takes up most of the backyard. The same pool Pete pretended to drown in when you were 12 years old and then slipped you the tongue when you tried to give him CPR.

"Game's over?" You ask instead while chlorinated water laps at your shins and the pool lights cast bluish, dancing shadows from beneath the water.

"It came down to Pete and a blond girl he apparently fancies but he forfeited the game in favor of attempting to stick his tongue down her throat." HG murmurs coming to stand over you and for a moment you just twist your head to stare at her boots and how the water makes the lights dance against the leather. "He lost the game and the girl."

"Not the first time." You point out, tipping your head back to blink up at HG. "What're you doing out here?"

"Looking for you." HG says easily then she's bending to unzip her boots, you find yourself watching her fingers work before she's kicking them off, rolling up the hem of her jeans and sinking down beside you, feet disappearing noiselessly into the water. "You scampered away-"

"I didn't scamper." You cut her off because you don't like the way that sounds and HG nods a little, scooting closer to you. "I don't scamper."

"Alright. You didn't scamper." She whispers. "You left abruptly."

You roll your eyes a little bit, biting down on an annoyed smile while she inches over a little more.

"How did you end up here?" You breathe after a moment, kicking your feet under the water slowly and you watch HG do the same, her toes brushing against your ankles over and over. "Here of all places. The middle of nowhere."

"You say that as if this place is hell on earth." HG murmurs as you nudge her foot with yours and you shrug, tucking your hair behind your ears.

"Not hell, just…stifling." You shrug again, staring down into the dark water lapping at your calves. "I don't really fit in here, ya know."

"That's because you're destined for greater things than this town, Myka." HG whispers, tipping her head to watch you. "I've only known you a few weeks and its clear to me. It's clear to anyone that looks."

That fluttering feeling is back and you draw in a careful breath at the feeling, looking away from her even gaze.

"You're changing the subject. Tell me how you got here, HG." You say softly, trying not to blush and HG laughs, low in her throat while you turn back to her and muted music fills the backyard. "Are you a fugitive? Because I have to tell you, Helena G. Wells sounds like the name of a high profile, international fugitive."

"Something of that nature." HG mutters, smiling at you and you laugh as her foot hooks around yours briefly before sliding away.

"You're kinda mysterious." You grin and HG rocks closer and goosebumps race across your skin when her arm rubs against yours. "It's…"

"Intriguing? Captivating?" HG offers, tilting her head backwards to stare up at the stars blinking brilliantly over head and you let your eyes trace over the lines of her throat before looking away and exhaling slowly. "Stimulating?"

"Maybe." You say thickly as something heavy and powerful flickers in your chest. "Something like that I guess."

"I can't ever remember the stars being this bright in London." HG hums as you lean back on your hands, glancing upwards also. "I must admit, I do like it here."

"What's to like about it?" You huff, closing your eyes just for a minute and you _feel it _when she turns to look at you, gaze on your face.

"Fresh air. Beautiful scenery. Beautiful people. What's not to like?"

You just make a noncommittal sound, glancing towards the patio doors where you can see the party raging on beyond them.

"Why couldn't I've met you before." HG's voice is soft and sudden and you peer at her curiously, your weight shifting as smooth legs glide against yours. "I've only known you for a short time but I already wish I would've met you before."

"Before what?" You ask quietly and HG just smiles at you, sweet and slow.

"Before lots of things." She finally sighs. "I have many secrets Myka."

Her words cause your heart to give a mighty thump behind your ribs and you scoot closer to her now until your pressed side to side.

"Did you kill someone?" You wonder and HG looks like she might smile but doesn't.

"I think my choice to not kill someone is the root of one of my many problems." HG finally murmurs and you stare at HG in silence and try to decipher her words before HG rises suddenly, feet splashing out of the pool.

"What're you doing?" You ask, watching her stand fully, feet bare and wet on the ground.

"Going for a swim." She says like it makes complete sense and you watch her stupidly for a moment as her hands begin unbuttoning her blouse. "What most people do when presented with a _swimming_ pool."

"You're not wearing a swimsuit." You stammer weakly, watching her shrug out of her shirt and HG just grins at you, dropping her blouse and you look away and try to ignore the way she's standing there in just dark denim, black lace and cold air. Eyes finding focusing on the pool while HG moves just behind you.

"Haven't you heard of skinny dipping?" She laughs brightly somewhere over your shoulder.

"Haven't you heard of pneumonia? And-and swimming while drinking is really, really ill advised." You call. "You could drown or-or…"

"Myka. Live a little." HG laughs, cutting you off suddenly and she's made that suggestion before. "Just a little. Don't be so uptight."

And then she's diving into the pool, form sharp and clean and there's a soft splash and hardly a spray as she disappears under the surface. For a while she's just a blur under the water, dark hair and blue jeans and pale skin and you watch her move before she surfaces right in front of you.

"I live plenty." You mutter weakly as HG slicks her hair from her face and gosh, you realize, not for the first time, how pretty she is.

"Myka…" HG says teasingly, swimming closer before she just stands in the water and you watch her ease between your legs, hands curling behind your knees, gripping at the space there. "Myka."

"What're you doing?" You mutter but the alcohol you've been drinking has made your body all loose and you smile at her instead of frown, gripping the edge of the pool absently.

Your smile widens when HG tugs on your legs, hooking her hands under your knees and pulling until your more or less teetering on the lip of the pool and your jeans are getting wet. "Absolutely nothing."

Her wet hands move to fist into your tee shirt, stretching the cotton and you don't look away from her face as she presses nearly flush against you.

"HG. Don't. Don't, my cell phone-" You manage right before HG jerks you hard again, pulling on your shirt, sending both of you sprawling into the pool.

The two of you are a tangled mess beneath the water, her legs twisting around yours and her long hair tickling around your arms.

You sputter to the surface with HG grinning in front of you, hair smoothed back and eyes dark and you wipe at your eyes, blinking away chlorine and attempting to not look like a drowned rat.

"You-You suck!" You cough, wiping at your eyes again before digging out your ruined cell phone from your pocket and examining it before letting it drop to the bottom of the pool with a sigh and HG just laughs, reaching forward to push your hair from your face before wrapping her hand around the back of your neck and easing herself closer to you. "You suck."

You watch her lick at her wet lips and feel your stomach twist sharply. "I apologize. I couldn't help myself."

"You should probably work on your self control." You croak as her legs brush along yours and you let your hands sit on the surface of the water limply because you've no idea what to do with them right now. Because the hair at HG's hairline looks so soft and silky and you want to trace your thumb there, because your heart is pounding and you want to press your hand to your chest to make sure it stays where its supposed to.

"Perhaps I can borrow some of yours." She teases gently and it feels like she's definitely doing something to your self control.

"What you said earlier," You start suddenly and HG just gazes at you with soft, heavy eyes. "About meeting me _before_? Well, what's wrong with meeting now?"

HG huffs out a laughter, this soft pretty sound. "Nothing, I suppose."

Suddenly the glass door separating the two of you from the rest of the party opens noisily and you move away from HG just as Pete emerges, whipping off his shirt and howling at the sky.

"Look out ladies! P-Daddy is comin' in!" He declares and you laugh, trying hard to ignore HG's lingering eyes as Pete cannonballs into the pool followed closely by most of the party.

* * *

It's not a surprise when the cops show up to break up the party.

It _is _a surprise when HG pulls her blouse on over her wet skin then grabs you by your pruned fingers, whispering "Come with me." against your ear before leading you out of the side door in the backyard.

It's not a surprise that you go.

* * *

You only manage to kick off your soggy shoes and socks before HG tugs you down on the bed beside her, mattress groaning under your weight.

"I'm still wet." You inform her quietly even as you settle on your back on her soft, expensive bedding. "Your bed…"

"I don't care about that." HG murmurs, twisting onto her side beside you while you wiggle your toes in the grey light, the sun already rising, intent on turning the purple of night to the grey of dawn and you can't remember the last time you stayed up all night like this when it had nothing to do with a final or report due in the morning.

"Will your parents be okay with me spending the night?" You ask quietly, closing your eyes to make the walls stay a little bit more still. "I don't want you to get into trouble."

You open an eye to find HG smiling at you and you try not to smile. "What?"

"You're so polite." HG murmurs. "Besides, I'm currently staying with my elderly aunt and uncle and I'm quite certain that if they do stumble upon your presence, they wont mind."

You want to ask her where her parents are and why she's here without them but those questions seem to heavy to get past your teeth at this point in time.

"My parents are probably freaking out right now." You sigh, plucking at the damp fabric of your shirt where its clinging to your stomach, thinking of your phone at the bottom of Pete's pool and HG's gaze drifts down to your hands. "My dad is going to kill me."

"I could walk you home. Maybe call a taxi." HG says, mouth tipping upwards and you shake your head a little. "If you fear for your life."

"It's… It doesn't matter. I'm already dead meat… I can stay." You admit, twisting your head to peer at HG beside you, gazing at the quirk of her lips. "If that's alright."

"So daring." HG whispers, tucking one hand under her chin. "Stay forever if you'd like."

She shifts closer to you, mattress springs keening just a little and you're so, so aware of the solid heat radiating from beneath HG's still wet clothing that your skin prickles.

"You'd want that?" You ask, searching her face in the half light and HG doesn't hide, doesn't look away, just meets your gaze, dark and even. "Even though you hardly know me at all."

"I would." She says quietly after a moment and your heart suddenly feels too dense in your chest, every beat too heavy. "I feel like I know plenty about you already."

Eventually, you're the one to look away, gazing up at the ceiling through the cream gauze canopy draped over the bed while HG breathes slow and steady beside you. "And I hardly know you at all."

"There's not much to know." HG whispers. "I wish there was more to me but there isn't."

"I don't believe that. How can I believe that?" You say softly, tapping your fingers against your belly before folding your hands over your stomach. "So, I want to thank you."

"And for what, exactly, are you thanking me?" She asks softly and you peek at her again, smiling at her a little.

"For making tonight not awful." You offer and you hear her huff out a laugh, a brush of her breath against your shoulder. "I had fun. With you. Even with you throwing me into a pool…you owe me a cell phone by the way."

"Then I owe you thanks as well because I enjoyed myself quite a bit also." She whispers, accent curving and bending all of her words and you grin at her.

"I like the way you talk." You murmur, staring too long at her mouth and HG shakes her head.

"My goodness, you're so…" HG trails off into a laugh.

"I'm so what?" You wonder, laughing too and HG shakes her head almost coyly again before shifting and adjusting her head on the pillow beside yours.

"Adorable. I was going to say you're quite adorable." She admits softly and you grin too wide, the alcohol in your veins making you feel loose limbed and invincible.

"You think I'm adorable?" You ask and HG just nods best she can.

"I do." She says honestly, soft smile spilling over her lips. "Very much so."

"Well, I think you're beautiful." You admit, swallowing against the alcohol still burning at the back of your throat. "Like really, really beautiful…I can't believe I just said that out loud."

HG just laughs like you complimented her shoes, which are nice but not like you just told her that she has the best face ever and you give her a confused look.

"How much alcohol have you had tonight, Darling?" She asks and you laugh, rolling your eyes.

"Not so much that I don't know what I'm saying." You shrug. "But enough that my brain to mouth filter has become nonexistent."

"What other thoughts have you had that your lips won't let you speak?" She asks softly, angling her head towards you just a bit and your heart does that racing thing it does whenever HG is too close.

"You always smell really, really good." You start, sneaking a look at her and she's grinning. "Like, really good. And your hair is always perfect and shiny. And you have such amazing handwriting. Oh! And, you're so smart! Like the smartest person I've ever met."

"Is that it?" HG laughs quietly and you shake your head.

"I know you're not bad at math." You laugh. "You're actually really good at math."

HG at least has the decency to sort of look guilty even though she's smirking at you, pressing her face into her pillow and generally looking adorable in her own right.

"If you knew then why did you continue to tutor me?" HG asks, voice lilting as she scoots closer .

"I don't know." You grin stacking your hands on your stomach and closing your eyes.

"Perhaps you just enjoy my company." HG offers playfully, whispering like it's a secret and you crack an eye open to peek at her.

"Perhaps." You hum, stacking your hands on your stomach, pressing down against the fluttering sensation there. "Or maybe I was using your attractiveness to inspire Pete to pay attention to math."

"I see…" HG murmurs coyly, edging even closer and pressing her nose against your shoulder. "So, you find me attractive then."

"I don't find you _un_attractive." You whisper around a smirk like seconds before you hadn't just called her beautiful as HG stretches out against your side, foot nudging your ankle and knee pressing into the side of your thigh. "He likes you, you know?"

"Who?" HG asks, lips moving against the cotton of your tee shirt and your roll your shoulders a little.

"Pete." You laugh, blinking up at the ceiling again. "Pete does."

"And what about you?" She wonders softly and you glance at her thoughtfully as warmth spreads under your skin. "Do you like me?"

"You're… alright." You finally laugh and HG lets out a huff. "I guess."

You're still grinning when HG pushes up on one arm, reaching out to tug at a curl of your damp hair experimentally before threading her fingers through the still wet tangles and locks, heel of her hand resting against your temple as she angles your face just a bit, leaning over you. Your smirk melts away as you exhale shakily while she hovers in front of you.

You feel light headed and you're pretty sure the culprit isn't the harsh, bitter alcohol but the way your heart is pounding dizzyingly behind your ribs. You dig the nails of your right hand into your other hand to ground yourself because it suddenly feels like you might float away and this close up, HG almost looks exactly how you feel, all of her bravado slipping away.

"What're you doing?" You murmur, head pushing back noiselessly against the pillow, even though the answer is _so _obvious and HG just gazes at you before leaning forward and kissing you softly once.

"I just-I need to kiss you a bit." HG exhales softly. "Is that alright?"

You nod.

She kisses your mouth like she owns it, too hot and too deep and too everything a first kiss should _not _be and yet it feels like your entire nervous system has rewired itself to better appreciate the slant of HG's lips against yours.

You kiss her back thoughtlessly, reactively, matching her enthusiasm with an intensity you've never really thought yourself capable of.

HG pulls back first, easing away slowly, pressing soft damp kisses to your lips until she's not and you keep your eyes squeezed shut, licking your lips and trying to categorize the buzzing feeling under your skin, in your bones, into something recognizable and far less complicated.

"Should I not have done that?" HG breathes softly after a moment, dark eyes scanning your face in the half light as you lick your lips.

You know that the right answer is she should definitely have _not _done that for many, many reasons that you can't seem to find right now because you're mind is too busy focusing on how hot HG's body feels against yours and how she smells like sweetness and chlorine and how you definitely want her to do that again.

"I-I don't know." You finally croak, dragging the back of your hand over your mouth. "I don't know what I'm doing."

HG just nods like she understands and then she kisses you again, softer and pulling, over and over and you let her.

When she finally pulls away you don't move, not even as her fingers curl around your wrist, tugging one arm away from your stomach then the other until you're spread out on her sheets like a sacrifice and she shifts, slides a knee over your hip and you can only clutch at the bedding and loose a shaky breath as she settles just below your stomach and your hips rotate _up _without your permission.

Something hot is swelling low in your belly, bright and burning, as she gazes down at you like she's waiting. Waiting for you to twist out from beneath her, to push her away and scurry home but you're eyes feel heavy and the sun is starting to rise while your pulse pounds in your ears and the right amount of alcohol still traces through your veins like courage and instead of running you whisper her name.

And its like you pushed 'play' because HG is moving again, fingertips toying with the damp hem of you shirt before slipping underneath, too hot against your cold skin and when you suck in a sharp breath HG grins, sharp and feral, like she might eat you alive.

Your hands fall to the top of her thighs, fingers digging into muscle when she pushes your shirt up slowly, eyes on yours until she can trace over the skin covering your ribs, map out the edge of your bra with her thumb and you bite down on your bottom lip and wonder how the heck you got here.

Because, you are so not this kind of girl. You don't hook up with people you hardly know, especially not other _girls _with suggestive mouths and mysterious eyes.

You're _really _not this kind of girl.

Not that there's anything wrong with being _this _kind of girl because you're all about female empowerment and women having the right to do whatever they want without judgment or double standard and if one of the things they want to do is hook up with strangers they've only known a few days then more power to them.

But you've never been that kind of girl…at least you didn't think you were.

HG catches your eye, smirking like she just _knows _your mind is going a million miles a minute before dipping her head to press her mouth against your stomach. She's not gentle, her teeth are on your ribs and she sucks bruises against your skin that makes you twist against her mouth and you wonder breathlessly if she can feel your heart racing against her tongue as you tangle shaking fingers in her hair.

She looks up at you then, leaning into your hand just a little before pulling away from your skin with a sound that makes your toes curl. You watch her move over you, shifting weight pressing into your hips as she moves to drag your shirt up more and you arch your back, let her pull it over your head and tug it free from your arms.

HG's kissing you as soon as you're free, deep and slow and yeah, the number of people you've kissed in your life is sort of pathetically low but you know you've never been kissed like this, you've never felt like this while being kissed. You've just never felt like this.

You turn away, easing your mouth free of hers with a gasp as her hands find your breast and she presses her mouth to your ear with a soft laugh then she's biting down on the shell of your ear a little too hard and its like your body is going into system overload for her.

"God." You swallow, squeezing your eyes shut in an attempt to keep them from crossing while your hips buck upwards without your permission and you hear HG's sharp intake of breath before she shifts, hands slipping under your back and your bra comes loose under her curiously practiced hands.

You blush when she guides it from her your arms but you don't stop her, just watch as she drops it over the side of the bed, flushing red all the way to your chest and HG just smiles, fingers your collarbone thoughtfully.

"Myka," she murmurs, hands like electricity on your skin. "Do you have any idea how lovely you are?"

Even if you had the mental capacity to speak right now, you wouldn't know what to say because you are a lot of things but you never thought lovely was one of them so you stay silent.

Her hands drag over the curve of your waist and her thumbs press into the hollow of your hips and its all you can do to draw in a breath as she watches with almost predatory eyes .

"Have you done this before?" HG finally asks quietly, hands sliding all the way up to your breast and her mouth quirks up a little when your eyes flutter helplessly.

"_This_?" You swallow, glancing down at HG's fingers on your skin before pressing a hand over your eyes. "I don't-"

"I mean sex." She starts, pulling your hand away from your face and pressing it down over your head. "Intercourse."

"Oh." Is all you can manage because those words should not be as hot as they are when HG's whispering them.

"Is that a yes?" HG wonders, eyebrow arching as she pins your other hand over your head, fingers trailing over your skin and leaving goosebumps behind.

"Yeah." You finally croak, watching HG shift backwards until her spine is straight and she's tracing over the fly of your jeans. "But not…it-it was with a boy, not…not-"

HG undoes your jeans deftly as she leans forward to kiss you, stealing whatever rambling words that were on the tip of your tongue.

"I'll stop…" HG whispers against your lips. "Just say the word and I'll stop."

"Okay." You swallow and HG peers down at you quietly. "Okay. Just…go easy on me."

She smiles a little at that but doesn't move when you push up onto your elbows, just hovers expectantly until you push past the nervousness and fear making your muscles tight to kiss her.

* * *

After, you're not exactly sure if what the two of you do counts as sex or if HG's hand working inside of the wet denim of your jeans but outside of your underwear is the equivalent of rounding third base or if its something more but it doesn't matter ultimately because you're hips chase the heat of her hand and sparks burn and fizz low in your belly and then you're shuddering helplessly against her and pressing your open mouth against her throat.

It doesn't matter when HG twists onto the bed next to you and you turn to kiss her and touch her breast through her shirt, her stomach underneath her shirt, the soft skin of her forearm while her own hands dive shakily between her thighs and she reaches orgasm with your name on her lips even though its her hands and her hips that do most of the work.

It doesn't matter at all because either way what the two of you just did _means _something and you just don't know what it means beyond this night and this hour and this _now. _

You say it out loud because you can't hold it in and your mind is starting to race, can feel it happening as you lie here next to HG on damp, rumpled sheets.

"It's attraction. Chemical and cerebral." HG whispers roughly, voice hanging above where the two of you lie side by side. "Your body reacting to mine and mine yours."

And when she puts it that way, it seems so simple…it's not but with the sun rising and HG fingers slipping between yours, it seems that way.


	4. Chapter 4

You can't help but think that Pete would be really disappointed if he knew _this _was how you were handling this whole morning after situation.

In fact, you're pretty sure he would strongly advise you to jump out the nearest window and shimmy down the rain gutter at the first given opportunity instead of doing what you're doing right now…which is a fantastic impression of a statue.

You've managed to get all of your clothes on despite the hangover that is making your head feel two sizes too small for your brain and you're clutching your still damp shoes to your chest but you cannot make yourself leave the room. This room that's become this perfect little world where it doesn't matter that the things you feel for HG are sweaty and confusing, it only matters that they're _there_.

"Myka, darling." HG's soft voice startles you a little and the bed squeaks with her movement somewhere behind you. "What on earth are you doing?"

You bite your lip and blink at the closed door you've been standing in front of for the better part of five minutes. Eyes darting down to the bronze knob while you hug your shoes tighter and tighter and ignore the faint swell of nausea in your stomach in favor of focusing on the way HG sounds.

"I think I should go." You murmur, glancing over your shoulder to find HG pushing herself into a sitting position in her huge bed, all sleepy and soft and slow and you swallow hard before turning back to the door. "Probably."

"You're not sure?" HG asks carefully and you shake your head, continuing to gnaw on your lip. You know what you should do and you know what you want to do. It's rare for those things to not be one in the same. Rare but not impossible.

"I mean, I should shouldn't I? Isn't that what people do after a night of questionable behavior?" You throw over your shoulder, only looking back when HG laughs quietly. "The walk of shame."

"I guess it depends if they actually regret the aforementioned questionable behavior." She murmurs, tucking her knees up to her chest beneath the sheets that still smell like chlorine and you watch her toss her hair out of her face with one hand.

"You talk in your sleep." You sigh, rubbing a hand over your eyes while your brain throbs in your skull. "Like your mind is so amazing that it doesn't even turn off at night."

"As great minds have the faculty of saying a great deal in a few words, so lesser minds have a talent of talking much, and saying nothing." HG quotes easily, ignoring your jarring subject change and you blink at her before turning to face her fully.

"You just quoted Francois de La Rochefoucauld." You sigh, dropping your shoes in favor of running both hands through your hair and it would really help this whole situation if HG was less incredible. "You just _casually _quoted Rochefoucauld."

"Myka." HG says your name soft and affectionate before peeling the sheets away and coming to stand in front of you barefoot and half clothed and so tangible. "Where are you going?"

"My parents are probably worried and sick. And-And Pete…he probably thinks I'm dead somewhere. We have a death pact, ya know?" You whisper, gazing at her helplessly.

"I'm sorry, a death pact?"

"Neither one of us is allowed to die without the other." You whisper, flashing back to that day with Pete. Sitting cross-legged in the grass with his pinky hooked over yours and promising to never live without one another. HG looks amused, watching you with big, dark eyes. "Last night was…a lot."

"A mistake?" HG questions mildly, smile faltering just a little at the corners and you kind of wish it were that easy but HG is standing in front of you with her hair everywhere and no pants and her face so _open. _You know its not.

"Overwhelming." You say instead, dropping your chin to look at HG's naked feet. Your eyes trace up her ankles, knees, thighs before veering back up to her face. "It was overwhelming."

"But not awful?" She asks, a smirk teasing at her mouth again and you roll your eyes a little bit.

"Not particularly." You mutter carelessly even as heat races to your face. "But I'm no connoisseur of, ya know, sex or anything…for all I know it could've been the worst."

"Did it feel like the _worst_?" HG challenges, reaching out with a single finger to trace a line from the soft crook of your elbow down to the heel of your hand and your fingers curl inwardly on reflex.

"It definitely did not." you whisper, fisting your hand closed as her touch retreats. You watch HG smile at that, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth again before glancing at the door over your shoulder.

"I realize that what occurred between us is a lot to process." HG starts, tugging your attention back to her. "Just as I know that a loss of composure is imminent and there's a good chance that after you leave here you will manage to convince yourself the ridiculous notion that the connection we share is nothing more than _hormones _and I…I am not ready for that yet. I really wish you'd stay a bit longer."

You rub at the back of your neck absently, wondering if HG's uncanny ability to know what you're thinking stems from your own obvious nature or HG's knack for reading you like a book. You give up, instead attempting to will away the alcohol induced headache that's making it even more difficult to breathe through the things you're feeling.

You swallow hard while she stares up at you, head tilting as she tangles her fingers with yours and you let her pull you back towards her disheveled bed.

"HG. I don't think-" You exhale halfway there and she stops, leaning up on her toes to kiss you soft and wet on your lips.

"Ah, if only that were true." She whispers when she pulls away, resuming your walk across the room until she's falling backwards onto the bed.

She tugs you down on top of her, one hand coming up to push your hair back while you hover above her, gazing down at her dark eyes.

"What is _this_?" You ask mutedly, the question surfacing suddenly while your heart thumps dully in your ears, like there's suddenly too much blood in your body and HG smiles up at you.

"Everything I could possibly imagine and nothing at all…" She whispers before hooking her knees against your hips and shifting her weight until you topple over.

You don't realize you're grinning until HG reaches up to thumb the stupid dimple in your cheek. "Goodness." She sighs, "If possible, you are in possession of the most crooked smile I've ever seen."

"Shut up." You laugh, sinking into the mattress as the two of you lie face to face.

"Really. Its nearly absurd how charming I find it." She hums as her fingertips move to slide across your lips and the feeling gathering low in your stomach makes you exhale shakily against her palm while your brain pulsates painfully. "Darling, stay. Just a while longer?"

"It feels like my head is going to explode." You admit, closing your eyes as she traces across your cheek and over your ear before her hand tangles in your hair, guiding your forehead against hers. You can feel her watching you, can feel the way your pulse flickers a little faster at that. "Who are you?"

HG hums a little, tucking your hair behind your ear. "Just a girl."

* * *

You're not exactly sure what will happen once you walked through the front door. You've thought about it the entire walk from HG's house. Uncertain thoughts settling heavily at the base of your skull, mixing with the hangover still flirting with your system and the thoughts of HG that haven't stopped since she sent you home with a press of her lips to your cheek.

But you have absolutely no frame of reference for this sort of situation, this disappointing your parents situation, so your brain runs the gamete from your parents not even realizing that you've been gone all night to finding your own face on the back of a milk carton.

You're debating whether or not running away forever is the appropriate course of action for this whole entire situation when a red pick up truck rumbles up beside you, slowing to meet your deliberate pace.

"Hey. Hey. Hey." Pete greets out the window, tapping his horn playfully and there's an unexpected kind of relief that settles in your muscles at his grinning face. "Want a ride?"

"To my inevitable death?" You sigh, shrugging "Sure, why not?"

The truck idles noisily as you climb into the passenger's seat, pulling the door shut and dragging your seatbelt over your shoulders.

"You look like crap." Pete says, eyeing you as you slump into your seat before throwing the truck into gear.

"Thanks." You murmur as the two of you continue towards your house. "What're you doing over here anyway?"

"Well, HG was kind enough to give me a call after you left her house this morning." Pete starts and sudden anxiety clamps down hard around your chest. You dig your nails into your thighs and try to breathe through it. "She, correctly I might add, figured I'd be worried since you just _disappeared _last night and told me to go pick you up since you refused to let her drive you home…she's very bossy FYI."

"Oh" You croak and Pete gives you a confused look.

"Yeah." He says and that sudden tightness eases away slowly.

"Pete, I'm sorry I didn't tell you where I was." You sigh, turning to gaze at his profile. "I know you worry."

You know Pete has a thing about people disappearing on him. You where there when his dad passed away, you were there when his sister went away to college and never looked back.

Pete shifts in his seat a little. "Yeah, well, not as sorry as you're gonna be when you step through that front door. What were you thinking? Staying out all night without talking to your parents."

"I know. I know." You swallow. "I-I just caught up in the moment."

It's kind of an understatement, It's more like the moment wrapped you up tight, tight, _tight _and still hasn't let go.

"Well, as out of character as that is," Pete drawls as you pull up to your house, tires nudging the curb just a little. "it's time to face the music.'

"I was kind of thinking, instead of facing the music, maybe I could just run away forever."

"I'll drive you wherever you wanna go. As long as you chip in for gas." Pete grins and you smile back. " I'll also go in there with you. Maybe soften the blow a little."

"I love you, you know." You laugh and Pete rolls his eyes. "But my Dad would murder you if we walked in together."

"I'll win him over eventually." Pete grunts, glaring at your house and you nod. "Eventually he'll have to accept that I'm the son he never had…or wanted."

"Yeah, I know." And you can feel Pete watching you as you stare at your house where suddenly looming in the distance. "I'm just…I need a second."

"Take your time." Pete says, putting the truck in park. "No need to rush to your inevitable demise."

* * *

So your parents are livid.

Your dad yells at you as soon as you step over the threshold and your mom cries the entire time your dad snarls at you in a thunderous voice you've never heard him use before and they both look at you like they don't recognize you.

You wonder if they ever even knew what you really look like. Can't help but wonder what they thought they saw.

"How grounded are you?" Pete asks on Monday as you shove your books into your locker.

"How grounded am I? Uh, very?" You offer, slamming your locker door shut to reveal Pete's face. His eyes are doing the same thing your sister's have been all weekend, watching you with a weird mixture of sympathy and pride. "Stop looking at me like that."

"I cant!" Pete cries as you shoulder your backpack. "I know you're upset but I'm weirdly proud of you for getting in trouble."

"I'm glad one of us is because my mom isn't even talking to me and my dad is just kind of gives me these disappointed looks." You mutter and Pete nods.

"That sucks. It really does, Mykes. But at least they see that you're a real teenager now and not some weird Stepford daughter." Pete tries and you think he may be just a little bit right.

"Maybe." you breathe and you arch a brow as Pete's eyes drift somewhere over your shoulder. "What? What is it?"

"Mykes, I need you to be my wingman."

You roll your eyes, turning to lean against it so your shoulder to shoulder with Pete. You follow his dreamy gaze to a girl you vaguely remember sharing a class with last year.

"She's out of your league." You laugh immediately and Pete looks at you incredulously. "What? She is!"

"No way!" He argues. "That girl is _so _in my league. Now, HG? That is a girl out of my league."

Your smile falters, you feel it sort of tumble away. "Okay, so, what do you want me to do?"

"Just, ya know, go set me up." Pete murmurs, giving you a funny look and you arch an eyebrow at him. "Are you alright? You're putting off a weird vibe."

"I'm just-I'm just hungry." You lie, giving him a reassuring smile and he frowns at you a little bit. "So, set you up?"

"Yeah. Yeah." He nods, turning back towards the girl. "Just go talk me up a little."

"And say what?" You laugh and Pete scowls at you.

"You can't find anything nice to say about me? You call yourself my best friend?" He asks and you shrug lazily.

"You have really great hair? And one time you ate a worm for seven bucks?" You offer and Pete's entire face lights up.

"Yeah! Okay! Start with that." He grins and you open your mouth to inform him that those aren't necessarily qualities girls are looking for in a guy but your voice dies somewhere in your throat at the sight of HG emerging from the sea of students in the hallway. She's headed right towards you and the only thing you can seem to do is flatten yourself tighter to the lockers.

And its so much easier to convince yourself that you don't really like HG in that way when you're not actually _looking _at her and feeling that _feeling _well up inside of you that makes you think your intestines are doing their best balloon animal impressions. You watch her approach and all that hard work, assuring yourself that it was only the alcohol that loosed your inhibitions and that her mind is the only thing you really appreciate, kind of dissolves away to make room for the truth.

"Speak of the devil. HG! What's up?" Pete greets and HG spares him a smile before focusing on you. Of course, she looks beautiful today and your mind drifts back to that night and you swallow hard, rubbing at your neck. "We were just talking about how you'd probably never date me."

"Hello Pete. I apologize for interrupting such a stimulating conversation but I've actually come to have a word with Myka." HG says carefully, throat working silently and you stare at her and can't decide what you want your body to be doing in this moment. "Shall we?"

"No!" You blurt and HG flinches a little, glancing down at the books she's hugging to her chest but that lasts only a heartbeat before she lifts her chin. "I mean…I can't right now. Pete needs help getting laid."

Pete makes a horrified sound, glancing at you with huge eyes. "I do not need help getting laid. I do _not _need helping getting laid!"

"This is rather important, Myka." HG says after a deep breath and your throat, your chest, your stomach all feels tight. "If you'd just give me a minute..."

"I can't, okay?" You exhale harshly and Pete is giving you another funny look. "I just-I can't. I'm helping Pete with something. We'll talk later."

HG looks disappointed but not necessarily surprised which makes you even worse somehow.

And with that, you're walking away. Across the hall to that girl Pete's been ogling.

"How do you feel about guys who collect comic books?"

* * *

After your run in with HG, you're week gets progressively worse and worse.

Artie gets grumpier and grumpier thanks to an onslaught of suspect "artifacts" that have him, and by proxy you, working around the clock to authenticate each and every one. Your fencing coach has decided that you need to be _pushed _during training to be ready for your next match and the Mathletes have been cramming for an up coming competition. Of course, you're also still grounded which means extra chores on top of your regular ones and your homework. You've also been avoiding HG at all costs for reasons you can't even really figure out when half of the time all you really want is to just _see _her.

All in all you're having a fairly crappy week, so, you shouldn't be surprised when you drag yourself home after a particularly grueling fencing session Friday night to find your home completely overrun with Tracy's snobbish, perfect friends and honestly you're not. But what does surprise you is HG sitting primly on your couch amongst the horde.

And you knew that she and Tracy were friends but you never really thought about what that meant. You hadn't thought HG the type to participate in your sister's arbitrary bonding rituals and yet there she is, amongst a gaggle of giggling girls.

There's a couple of seconds of your stomach feeling like its going to fall right out of your sneakers before you realize that you're staring and _she's _staring and-God… You look away, shifting your heavy sports bag on your shoulder, just as your sister appears from the kitchen holding a giant bowl of popcorn.

"Myka, you look gross." Tracy greets and you roll your eyes, pushing your hand into her bowl and pulling out a fist of popcorn. "Dad's still on the warpath so you might want to disappear."

"Thanks." you mutter, shoving the popcorn into your mouth before turning to head upstairs. You can feel HG watching you as you go but you force yourself not to look back.

* * *

"Hello, Myka"

The soft voice catches you off guard as you wander blindly back into your room from the bathroom. You whip your towel off of your head with a yelp and clutch it to your front while your heart nearly erupts in your chest from fear. Your eyes fly between your closed door, your desk chair wedged innocently underneath the knob and where HG is leaning so casually against your desk like she didn't just scare the crap out of you.

"Hey. Hi. Hey" You choke, sucking in a breath tossing your towel in the vicinity of your hamper. "You-you scared me."

HG frowns a little bit, looking a little less comfortable, posture straightening and you adjust your tank top and cotton shorts. "I apologize. For some reason I didn't anticipate the shock an uninvited guess might cause when I made the decision to sneak in here."

"No, its fine. I mean, what's a little angina?" You say, pushing your still wet hair out of your face while simultaneously willing your heart rate to drop into normal range.

"I saw you and couldn't resist." HG murmurs and you watch her fingers tangle around one another nervously and she looks different to you suddenly. Less like an intimidating, beautiful, brilliant person and more like a pretty girl that likes you and wants you to like her back and that makes you swallow hard. "I know that our meeting in the hall didn't go…as expected but I, well, I…"

"I freaked." You blurt. "I freaked out on you. You knew I would and I did."

"Understandably so," HG says softly, tilting her head to the side. "Perhaps the middle of a crowded hallway was not the ideal place to discuss a night of indiscretions."

"Perhaps." You mumble and HG smiles just a little bit.

"My apologies."

"How-how's the, um, the sleepover going?" You ask, trying to manage the havoc just being near HG causes inside of your body and HG stops smiling long enough to lick her lips.

"Fine. Your sister is very nice. As are her friends." HG's says and you roll your eyes, wriggling your toes against the carpet absently. "But I don't find the current film quite as engrossing as the other girls and I must admit to preferring the company of another Bering sister."

"So you decided to sneak into my bedroom?" You ask and HG at least has the decency to look bashful for just a moment. "And lock us in?"

"I did." HG laughs, pushing away from the desk to stand in front of you, smiling a little bit like she _likes _you and your heart drums up in your ears. "I just…I need to speak to you without you running away from me. Is that alright? "

You nod dumbly even as the tips of your ears burn and you wonder if any of this is _really _alright.

"You're bedroom looks nothing like I imagined." HG says after a moment even though her eyes are trained on you and you blush deeper, folding your arms over your stomach as she slips right past you. "In fact its far different than I'd assumed. Much more…feminine."

"You've thought about my bedroom." You wonder stupidly, watching her walk around your room, fingertips dancing over the stuffed animals on your bureau and the trophies standing up right and gleaming between the beat up books on your bookshelves.

"Oh, you have no idea, Darling." HG says coming to stand at the foot of your bed and you watch her hand brush over the comforter before sitting down.

The back of your neck is getting hot and you press your fingertips to the skin there as you move to sit gingerly beside her, almost close enough to touch but you don't.

"So, how long are you to be incarcerated?" HG asks quietly, socked foot nudging your bare one and you smile a little bit.

"Forever." You sigh, "According to my dad."

"Bullocks." HG mutters and you feel a grin spread across your face now.

"He's just angry. I've never really done anything like that before and he's just…" You trail off, smile melting away and you glance at HG, meeting her concentrated gaze. "He's angry."

"And what about you? How do you feel about our night together?" HG questions carefully like your answer _matters _and you take a slow breath as the memory wells up in your belly, curling like fear but warm like longing and eagerness. You have no clue how to put that into words.

"I don't know who that girl was that night. That-that morning." You admit after a moment, blinking down at HG's hand beside yours on the bed. "I don't usually do any of the things that I did but you bring out this person in me, I guess, and-and…"

"Did you like that person?" HG asks quietly and you breathe out slowly, brushing your fingers against hers lightly. "That girl that kissed me back?"

"It doesn't matter because-because-"

"It matters to me." HG cuts you off and you lift your gaze to hers. "Myka, you're so wonderful in ways I cannot fully express and I like you _very _much. So, it matters a great deal if you do, in fact, like being the type of girl that kisses me. That enjoys kissing me. It matters to me so please don't act as if this isn't significant."

"HG-"

"Myka, you _must _know that my intentions towards you extend far beyond friendship alone." HG says quietly and you nod. "I'm quite certain I've made that more than obvious."

"I liked being that girl." You whisper after a slow breath because you can't muster the effort to pretend otherwise, not when HG's looking at you with pleading eyes and all you can think about is how everything with HG should feel like a mistake but doesn't. "And your intentions are crystal clear. I just…"

"You're attracted to me?" It's a challenge and you swallow as you nod, acknowledging that truth.

"I'm…very…attracted to you."

Her eyes search your face and you let her look before hooking your pinky around hers on your bed.

You breathe out, staring at your bare knees for a moment. "I don't know what that means beyond-beyond… I mean, I don't even really _know _you HG. Not beyond the fact that your equal parts brilliant and shameless and-and something else that makes me feel like I want to be close to you all the time."

"I don't make it a habit of letting others _know _me, Myka but I find myself wanting to show myself to you." HG murmurs, dark eyes finding yours again. "The parts that are more than so called brilliance and shamelessness. Even the parts that aren't ideal."

She twist her wrist so your hands are sliding together and you're, like, 90% sure your palm is sweating so you loosen your fingers for a moment to wipe your hand against your cotton shorts before taking her hand again and HG just sorta grins at you.

"Sorry. You make me very, very nervous." You whisper and HG smiles just a little. "I have these-these _jets _zooming around in my stomach right now."

"Here?" HG asks, eyes dropping as she presses the fingertips of her free hand to your abdomen, brushing against the material of your shirt and you nod.

"Yeah." you croak and HG tugs at your shirt a little bit before meeting your heavy gaze. You think about kissing her and you bite your lip as the notion swirls around your brain.

It solidifies the certainty that that night wasn't a mistake.

"I should probably get back downstairs." HG murmurs, eyes wandering to your locked hands. "I don't want to peak your sister's curiosity."

"Yeah, okay." You swallow, sliding your hand from hers reluctantly and when HG stands you tip your head back to watch her.

"But I'll be thinking of you." HG says, moving the chair out of the way easily. "All night, I'm sure."

Then she's gone and your left blushing on your bed.

You're trying to finish your homework a while later when your phone goes off. It's a text message from HG that reads:

_**In the spirit of making myself more available. I am allergic to nuts from trees. I have 2 unpaid traffic tickets. I plan to be a writer in the near future.**_

You grin as you read it over and over again.

* * *

You can't sleep and it has everything to do with the fact that HG is _right downstairs_.

You lie in bed for a long time, alternating between thinking of her like some love sick loser and trying to force your mind clear so you can just sleep.

But sleep is elusive your mind seems to be fixating on the curve of HG's waist and the pretty way she'd look at you over an open math textbook and -and …god, you're in so much trouble.

HG _likes _you. Really _likes _you and yeah, you already knew on some level she liked you but you think about the things HG revealed all closed up in your bedroom and you can't help the excitement that beats beneath your skin.

As hard as you tried to deny it, you like HG too. Not just the way her brain, which is infinitely attractive in a way you've never experienced with anyone else but the way she flirts with you with her _entire _body and the teasing way she challenges you on nearly _everything_.

Somehow, you manage to drift off a little, thinking about HG's fingers curving against your ribs.

* * *

It's early and you kind of expect HG to be asleep amongst the nest of blankets and sleeping bags taking over the living room but when you hurtle down the stairs after dressing and brushing your teeth, you find her stretched out on the couch with a book open in her hands. The bottom step squeaks, giving you away and when HG notices you hovering awkwardly near the stairs she sits up with something you really hope is eagerness playing on her face.

The other girls, including your sister who you can identify by her familiar snores, are all asleep on the floor and you give HG a smile before making your way past the sleeping bodies to the kitchen. You're belly fills with butterflies when you hear HG give chase.

"You're up early?" She whispers quietly in greeting as you tug the refrigerator open and pull out a cartoon of orange juice.

"Couldn't sleep." you murmur, glancing at her just long enough to make something warm fizz in your stomach and a blush pool in your cheeks before turning in search of cups.

"Is that so?" HG murmurs interestedly and you can hear the smile in her voice as you turn to pull two glasses out of the cupboard, setting them down on the countertop.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you." You confess, ducking behind your hair while you pick up the carton of juice and begin pouring. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since, gosh…since I met you."

"Goodness." HG murmurs like you said the right thing, you set the juice down after a moment then fingers are tucking messy curls behind your ear and exposing the reddened tips. " It's a relief to know I'm not alone in that aspect."

You laugh a little at that, sobering when her fingers trace down the tendons in your neck and your insides _clench._

"Myka, look at me." She breathes and you do so helplessly, meeting her gaze before your eyes drop to her lips. You're edging forward before you realize it, nose brushing against hers lightly while she exhales a tightly but the sound of footsteps reach your ear just as HG turns away smoothly.

"You guys are up early." Tracy yawns, rubbing at her eyes tiredly while HG leans backwards against the cabinet and your heart _pounds. _

"I'm going to the museum." You choke out, picking up a glass of orange juice and gulping down the contents. "Artie wants me there early."

You pick up the other glass of orange juice and gulp that one down too much to HG's amusement.

"I'll see you later, then?" HG plies, arching an eyebrow curiously and you set the glass down and touch your neck absently.

"Yeah, definitely."


	5. Chapter 5

You watch Pete walk across the frozen football field.

He's wearing a silly hat with fur and _ear flaps _but you can't help but smile at him as he crunches towards you on the icy grass with a grin while you bounce on your toes and try not to freeze to death.

"Ophelia," He greets, breath condensing in the bitter morning air and you watch it dissipate absently. "Long time no see."

"It hasn't been that long." You argue, squinting in the brilliant morning light and Pete grins, sparkling and bright. He's holding a football in the bend of his arm, backpack slung across one shoulder and you step towards him and tug the ball away.

"It kinda has." He says gently and you know he's right. You've been spending the majority of your time caught in HG's orbit which means its been days, maybe even a week or two, since you've hung out with Pete. "You've been missing in action."

"I know. I know." You huff, pressing your fingertips against the ball's laces, putting your hands the way Pete taught you the afternoon he declared that you threw like a girl and took it upon himself to remedy that. "I'm sorry."

"It's cool." He shrugs, swinging his backpack to the ground easily. You look at Pete and wonder what its like to just let things be simple and uncomplicated. "So, what's so important that you made me get my ass up and to school an hour early?"

You take a few steps away from him, giving yourself some space to gather your courage. The same courage that let you call him last night and insist that he meet you on the football field so you could tell him that there's this _girl, _to talk to him about what that _means, _to ask him what kind of flowers are appropriate for a first date because the internet isn't very helpful and just tell him _everything_. You throw the football to him and it wobbles through the air sloppily.

He catches the ball easily with a faint smile before tossing it back to you. It hits your hands, the grass, bouncing awkwardly one time before you snag it.

"Myka?" Pete laughs in the sun and you suck in a breath before throwing him the ball again.

"I have to tell you something." You admit, watching him grab the football out of the air with steady hands before tucking it against his chest. "I have to tell you something."

"Something juicy?" He asks, mouth pulling into that disgustingly charming smile and the words that you stayed up all night practicing and perfecting are stuck in your chest where they bubble and churn helplessly.

"I'm just…" You start, voice suddenly thick and there's a rush of emotion followed by a hot sting of tears that makes you press a gloved hand to your eyes. You want to tell him that something's happened and you're not the girl you thought you were. "Do I look different? To you?"

Pete looks concerned as he approaches you, football dangling in one hand while he reaches for you with the other. "Mykes, c'mon. What's up with you? What's wrong?"

His hand curves around the side of your neck, fingers ice cold against your skin and you shake your head a little. "Pete. Please-just.."

"Myka, you look like _you_." He bites out firmly. "When I look at you all I see is the same girl who punched Bobby Bilson and saved me from a patriotic wedgie. You are who you've always been to me. That's not gonna ever change."

"Pete." You hiccup, rubbing at your eyes hard. "Pete, I have to tell you something."

When you drop your hand away he's staring at you with warm eyes full of worry. "I'm all ears."

And you try, you really do. You attempt to summon the truth, to just let it tumble past your teeth and into the space between you and Pete but its too big, too much.

Just the thought of telling him that you're…that you like HG. It's just so heavy.

"I missed you." Is what you finally manage, blinking at him with his hand hooked around your neck and for a moment you think he's gonna argue. His lips part and his brow furrows and your stomach _lurches _but then he's hauling you forward and pressing warm lips to your forehead.

"Okay." He mumbles, pressing another kiss to your hairline while a sickening feeling seeps passed your ribs. "Okay. Yeah, I miss you too."

You cling to him for a long time, your head tucked against his neck while he strokes your hair and you swallow down the urge to cry. The sun is low but vivid, making the frosted grass shimmer like the two of you are surrounded by broken glass.

"I'm here. You know that, right?" He whispers and you nod, holding onto him tighter.

He releases you after a while and you rub at your eyes a little more and he smiles at you, stepping back and pressing his football between his palms.

"Chicks. So emotional." He smirks and you roll your eyes, laughing a little as he points across the field with the end of the football. "Go long, Mykes. Run a hook route."

"I don't know what that means!" You groan even as you take off in a trot down the field towards the end zone, zigging and zagging every couple of yards.

"Blue 42...Blue 42...Hut…Hut..Hike!" Pete bellows, his voice ringing clear in the cloudless morning, then the ball is soaring through the air towards you and you vaguely recall Pete telling you to keep your eye on the ball and make a triangle with your hands. You manage to fail spectacularly at the first step, squeezing your eyes shut tightly but then leather is slapping into your palms and your blinking down at Lattimer scrawled across brown leather in magic marker.

"Yeah!" Pete wails rushing towards you and you barely have enough time slam the ball down and start your victory dance, which consists of mostly shoulder movement, before Pete is picking you up around the waist with a howl.

You laugh helplessly as he spins you around and around.

{{{ }}}

HG looks completely out of place when she walks into the fencing studio, her heeled boots too fancy on the training mats and her clothes too pretty to be surrounded by sweaty, damp fencing gear and you're so distracted by her entrance, uninvited but so totally welcome here that you forget that you're halfway through a compound-riposte until your opponent knocks your epee out of your hand and stabs you hard in the chest with their sword, knocking you clean off of your feet.

You hit the mat hard with a grunt.

You jump up, rubbing your pride amongst other things and signaling your partner that you need a break, before heading over to HG.

"Myka, is that you in there?" HG grins as you approach, head tilting to the side in amusement and you reach back to yank your helmet off of your head.

"Yeah, its me." You laugh, wiping at the sweat on your brow and tucking your helmet under your arm. "What're you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you in action. Rumor has it that you are quite the athlete." She says in a way that makes you swell with pride and you bite your lip around the smile curling your lips. "It _is _okay that I'm here, isn't' it?"

"Oh yeah, of course it is. I mean, besides Pete and my family, no one has ever really seen me fence so its…its fine. Its good." You exclaim, tugging at your white jacket self consciously. "I'm usually way better than that. I was a little bit distracted."

"And what exactly, may I ask, had you so distracted?" HG exhales so very sweetly that your heart feels like a frog trapped behind your ribs.

"You know, just you…here." You grin dumbly, bouncing on your toes a bit. "Caught me off guard."

HG's eyes scan over you in a way that you don't think anyone one has ever looked at you, especially not while wearing your fencing gear and you flush from head to chest.

"You look adorable in that outfit." HG murmurs, plucking at your collar playfully and you arch a brow.

"You think so?" You breathe, pushing your sweaty hair out of your face and HG nods.

"Very much so." She hums softly and you roll your eyes.

"So, what's up?"

"Nothing's _up_," She smiles. "I only wanted to be witness to your infamous skills… and after maybe I could persuade you to accompany me to dinner?"

"A date?" You wonder while your pulse hammers beneath your skin. You and HG have been hanging out a lot lately but neither of you have dared to refer to the afternoons spent surrounded by books in the library with you making googly eyes at her instead of reading as a date.

"Something of the sort, yes."

"You talk funny." You grin at her and it's HG's turn to roll her eyes at you now.

"Is that a yes?"

"I would love to but…" You lick your lips, shaking your head reluctantly. "I'm still grounded and my dad-"

"Say no more." She says sincerely, raising her hands. "I completely understand and I do not wish you to be in anymore trouble than what I've already caused."

"It was kind of your fault." You shrug and a slow smile spreads across HG's face.

"So cheeky." She murmurs and you grin at her stupidly. "Well, you won't mind if I stay and, at the very least, watch you train."

"Yeah, of course. I insist."

"Well, if you insist." HG smirks before shooing you away. "Now, go. Put on your little hat and impress me."

"It's helmet." You chuckle, slipping your head covering over your hair. "Not a hat."

"Oh, whatever."`

"I'm almost done. Don't leave, okay? I'll walk you to your car." You say through the net of your mask and HG grins at you, bites her lip and tilts her head.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

You finish practice as quickly as possible, your focus pretty much shattered thanks to HG sitting primly in one of the many empty chairs lining the edge of the mats. After, you rush into the back changing rooms, shedding out of your sweaty gear and throwing on your sweats, cursing the fact that you hadn't brought better clothes the entire time.

You're zipping up your hoodie when you rush back to the main training room, pausing at the sight of HG standing in the middle of the dimly lit space. Everyone else is obviously long gone, except for the janitor who you can hear clanking around in the back room where the equipment is kept and you step slowly into the room as HG idly pulls your epee from the wall rack. She swings it experimentally and you smile.

"Want some pointers?" HG whirls around on you with a girlish gasp that makes you smile, your sword clutched tightly to her chest while you shuffle into the room. "Because, I mean, you're holding it wrong."

"Am I? I have to admit, you made this seem easier to maneuver when you were wielding it ." HG says in this breathless laugh that makes it even harder not to smile at her while you watch her grip your sword awkwardly. You drop your athletic bag on the mat, stepping towards HG who tracks your movement with dark, glittering eyes. "Of course, I wouldn't be opposed to some assistance."

"You know me," You grin, circling around HG until your standing behind her and you inhale slowly as you fit yourself against her. "Always happy to help."

"Yes, well, your willingness to lend a hand is only one of your numerous endearing qualities." HG murmurs as you move closer and for a moment, you're totally distracted by the gentle curve of her neck.

"Uhm," You swallow, blushing when HG twists to glance at you knowingly. "So, when not actually using the sword, you want to point it towards the ground."

Your hand wraps around HG's beneath the bell guard, guiding the end of the sword downward and you feel HG's fingers flex beneath yours. "Yes, of course."

"Now, your forefinger and thumb should be tight around the grip and close to the guard." You murmur and HG nods as you adjust her grip. "And let your other fingers rest lightly on the handle."

"There's far more to this than meets the eye." HG huffs, peeking at you over her shoulder and the way your draped over her back means your dizzyingly close to her. Your eyes dart to her lips, you know she sees it.

"Yeah, a little bit." You croak, watching HG bite at her bottom lip. "Kind of."

"What's next?" She asks softly but she doesn't look like she even cares right now and as long as she keeps watching you the way that she is, you don't care either. You know you're blushing all the way down your neck and butterflies are starting to flutter in your stomach and its all because of the way HG is gazing at you.

"Keep your hand tucked behind your guard," You mutter and HG nods even though she's looking at you and not the epee in her hand. "and your shoulders loose."

"You're very good at this." HG whispers softly and the butterflies flickering in your stomach turn into a full blown swarm.

"I, uhm," You swallow, letting your hand fall away from HG's arm and your hands land tentatively on her waist. "Your feet need to be…"

You guide her into the on-guard position, nudging her into place with your hands. "And this is…?"

"The on-guard position." You offer, urging her forward with your hips before using your foot to prod her back leg into a better angle. "Feet shoulder width apart."

HG follows your instructions, bending at the knee just a little when you tell her to before you reach forward and guide her sword up into sixte position. It's a little awkward and her left foot needs to be at more of a right angle and absolutely none of that matters because you teaching this beautiful girl with deep, dark eyes, how to fence in the middle of an abandoned studio while your heart pounds in your chest. "And your free hand goes up, behind your head so its out of the way."

"Like this?" HG wonders and actually, no, its sort of completely wrong because her hand is reaching back to hook behind your neck, pulling you close while she twist to watch you over her shoulder. You're fairly certain you look like a deer in headlights or something else equally awkward and unattractive but HG is smirking now and dropping your sword carelessly which is _so _against the rules and you'd totally be upset about it if you weren't so busy _swooning _at the way HG is hovering in front of you.

"Not…not exactly." You manage weakly as HG tilts her head so your forehead is pressed to her temple while your hands grip at her waist tightly. You breathe in and HG smells soft and girly in a way you don't think you've ever really appreciated until now. "You smell really good."

"Myka." HG breathes softly as her eyes flutter shut and her hips press back into yours gently.

"Are you guys almost done in here?" The janitor's voice booms suddenly and you jump away from HG instantly as the elderly man shuffles into the room wielding a broom while sporting some seriously impressive cataract .

"Actually, I believe we were just getting started." HG huffs, flipping her hair out of her face and you roll your eyes, bending down to scoop up your sword and hanging it in the rack on the wall.

Your face is red hot as you turn back to HG who is watching you with a knowing smirk. You shake your head at her as you grab your bag, hefting it onto your shoulder and snagging her hand in yours.

"We're just leaving." You squeak, heading for the door and dragging a chuckling HG behind you.

The air is sharp and cold as you stumble into the night but HG's hand is hot in yours and she hums happily when you lace your fingers with hers.

"You're kind of incorrigible." You laugh, tugging her closer as you make your way to the parking lot. HG's car beside the one you and your sister share. "You know that?"

"I've been referred to as worst." HG says easily, swinging your clasped hands back and forth gently.

"By who? I'll kill them." HG smiles at you as you come to a stop between the two cars. "I swear it."

"My knight in shining armor." She says softly, using her free hand to push her hair out of her face.

"Sure," You shrug. "But you don't need it."

HG leans in and then your heart more or less explodes in your chest as soft lips brush against your cold cheek while her hand comes up to cup the side of your face.

"Regardless, its nice to know you're there." She murmurs against your ear and you shut your eyes as goosebumps race across your skin. "Thank you. You've made this date memorable."

Your eyes fly open at that and you pry yourself out her grip even as HG reaches out to snag your fingers, like she can't bear not touching you. "Whoa! Hey! This doesn't count!"

You glance down as HG's hand plays with yours, fingers slotting in the spaces between yours for a moment before pulling back to stroke down your palm idly and your toes curl in your sneakers a little bit at the sensation.

"This doesn't count." You blurt again, watching HG's nails drag down your wrist before glancing up at her face. She's smiling at you absently and you squeeze her fingers.

"I'm sorry?" She says and the way she's looking at you, eyes soft and inattentive like she's not really listening to you at all makes you smile.

"This isn't our first date. This doesn't count."

HG looks at you with confused amusement while you sputter indignantly. "What are you-?"

"This isn't a date. And-and it's _definitely _not our first date." You stammer.

"Why not?"

"All you did was watch me get sweaty! No, this doesn't count." You cry, ignoring the delight playing on HG's face at your annoyance. "Our first date will not consist of you watching me swing a sword around for a couple of minutes."

"Then what will our first date consist of exactly?" HG wonders but her suggestive tone and the slow arch of her brow makes you hesitate as blood scorches its way up your neck to your face.

"I don't know." You sigh, "You and me alone for starters."

"Then I look forward to our first actual date because the idea of spending time in only your company sounds amazing." HG whispers, gaze drifting over your features and you roll your eyes a little bit as a blush settles warmly in your cheeks. "Goodness, you're lovely."

"HG." You laugh bashfully, looking away from her for a moment and over her shoulder from where the two of you just came.

"You're blushing." HG hums, stepping in close to you and pressing the back of her free hand to your cheek, then down to your throat before curving behind your neck where her fingers linger for a long moment.

"I tried to tell Pete." You say after a while, glancing down at HG's boots. "About me and you and I couldn't-I couldn't do it."

"Darling, Pete is your best friend." She points out unnecessarily and you nod, eyes still fixed on the ground.

"I know but I just couldn't find the words. I don't know how to tell him that I'm not the person he thought I was. That I've been hiding this-this thing that makes me so happy from him because-because…"

"Are you afraid of what he'll think?" HG tries gently and you shrug.

"I'm afraid that he'll look at me and he wont recognize me." You admit. "I'm afraid because I've been lying to him and he'll be mad. I'm afraid because he kind of likes you and I-I ."

"Myka, Pete is half in love with anything with the appropriate parts." She points out bluntly and you nod a little. "He will be hurt that you didn't tell him what was going on but the longer this goes on then the harder it will be on both of you."

You nod weakly and HG strokes her thumb over the first notch of your spine.

"You have to go on your way now." She whispers and you glance at her in confusion.

"I do?" You croak and she nods, gazing at you with a faint smile.

She nods a little, fingertips tracing circles at the nape of your neck. "Or I can't be held accountable of what will happen if you stay but I do know that it will successfully keep you grounded for the rest of your life."

You laugh at that, blinking up at the purple sky for a moment. "You're bidding me adieu."

"I am." HG confirms then she's pressing another kiss to your cheek. "Goodnight, Myka."

{{{ }}}

"Do you wanna ride?" You call out, tugging on the straps of your backpack absently and HG's gaze wanders over your bike curiously for just a moment before focusing on you again.

"A ride where?" She questions suspiciously and you roll forward then back a little.

"It's kind of a surprise." You answer and HG smiles knowingly. "But lets just say this one totally counts."

"I'm not sure your chariot can hold both of us." She laughs, adjusting her bag on her shoulder and you give her your most reassuring grin. "It seems a bit dangerous. We can just take my car, you know."

"C'mon HG, there's plenty of room." You tease, waggling your eyebrows at her and she looks away, a huff of laughter leaving her in puff of condensed air. "You trust me, right?"

"I do." HG confirms, meeting your challenging stare with a flick of her hair and a smile on her lips. "I'm not sure if that's very wise on my behalf though."

"Look, I'll do all the work. All you have to do is sit back and enjoy the ride." You say, twisting your handlebars back and forth idly and HG's eyes do that lighting up thing that's so pretty.

"Well, how can a girl refuse an offer like that?" HG grins stepping closer, fingers trailing over the handlebars until gloved fingertips brush over your knuckles. "Where should I sit?"

"Just climb on behind me." You laugh and HG does what you tell her, swinging her leg over the frame.

"Like this?" She exhales against your neck and you tighten your fingers around the rubber hand grips while your skin prickles.

"That's good." You swallow, clearing your throat in an attempt to get that _feeling _from swirling in your torso under control. "Now, sit on the seat, put your feet on the back axels, keep your legs out of the way and hang on to me."

"Right." HG hums and when you glance over your shoulder, HG is tugging off her gloves with her teeth and tucking them in her coat pockets before bare hands are curling into the sides of your sweatshirt. "Okay, then."

The first two attempts to get going are wobbly and unsuccessful and the third time you nearly pitch both of you right off the bike and into a shrub but HG clutches you tighter and laughs brightly against your shoulder and all you can do is try again while a stupid smile splits your face in two.

You manage to keep both of you upright long enough to start peddling, hard and fast, as you wind your way through the parking lot onto the streets, weaving through the stray students on school grounds.

"Where are we going?" HG asks right up against your ear and the handlebars wobble in your hands. "Where are you taking me?"

"Someplace special." You say honestly, smiling dumbly when she presses her face in your hair. "Do you wanna go?"

"Of Course."

{{{ }}}

"Bering and Sons?" HG asks, gazing at the writing on the display window and you nod, propping your bike up against the wall. "I thought it was only you and your sister."

"It is." You laugh, digging your keys out of your pocket and stepping forward to unlock the door. "My dad just thought Bering and Sons sounded more prestigious. Apparently its not exactly ideal having your daughters carry on your legacy."

You glance up as the lock slips and HG is giving you a look that's both knowing and sad. You drop your eyes, palming the keys absently. "It's not a big deal."

"It appears your father and mine share some of the same idiotic values." She says quietly. "My brother, Charles, is the apple of my father's eye despite some, in my opinion, massive shortcomings that include but are no way limited to an offhand concern for school that comes a distant second to anything in a skirt."

You laugh a little bit at HG's choice of words but not really at the idea HG's father not appreciating her obviously exceptional mind. "Then I guess we have something else in common."

"Ah, yes. Our continued thirst for acceptance from our somewhat absent fathers from where we're perpetually perched in our siblings shadows." HG murmurs quietly, swiping hair out of her face and you want to say something but the right words wont come in the short moment that you need them so instead you just push the door all the way open.

"C'mon."

Watching HG's face as the two of you wander through the bookstore makes your warm all over. You bite your lip against the smile threatening to take over your mouth while you trail behind her and she goes on and on about the books lining the shelves.

"This store is fantastic." She beams, turning a copy of The Ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote of La Mancha over and over in her hands. "Just amazing really. Thank you for bringing me here."

"Wanna see something else?" You offer and HG arches an eyebrow at you.

"Of course." She breathes and that grin you've been fighting takes over your face. "Lead the way."

You're nervous when you reach for her hand and HG looks surprised but slips her fingers into yours with a shy smile anyway.

{{{ }}}

You're not listening to HG because you've read this book countless times but mostly because of the way she looks stretched out in your nest of blankets, boots off and hair tucked behind her ears while her eyes track across the pages of the book in her lap. You're not listening to her but you're _hearing _her voice fill the small space and the way she smiles through certain parts. You're watching her eyes glide across the pages as her socked feet rub against one another absently and it makes you aware of all the ways your _aware _of her. Like you've never been aware of anyone else.

"…And I should stop wasting my breath because you are no longer paying attention to me." HG laughs, dark eyes focused on you where your sitting cross-legged at her hip, head leaned back against the wall and what you just _know _is a dopey look on your face. "What has you so preoccupied?"

"You." You smile honestly and HG bites at her bottom lip a little bit, eyes going all soft. "You know, I've never brought anyone here. Not even Pete. I mean, its kind of like my Fortress of Solitude, ya know. It feels like I-I spend a lot of my meager existence trying to …to make other people happy but here, its just for me. I only have to make myself happy."

It's nothing special, this place. Just the attic of the store that you commissioned for yourself when you were 8 years-old. Your dad had just smiled the first time he caught you dragging blankets and books up the stairs and your mom left peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at the base of the steps that led to your secret place.

It's a small space with sloping ceilings that make the corners claustrophobic. There's a window that looks out across the town, the glass yellowing around the edges, and scuffed hardwood floors that are covered with blankets and pillows. It's beautiful and cozy and if you could stay here forever you think you would.

"So, what am I doing here?" HG asks softly, shifting onto her side and tucking both arms underneath her head and you smile a little bit, pressing your fingers to your neck. "Amongst your well worn novels and albums?"

"I don't know. I promised you that our first date would be just you and me alone." You shrug as sudden nervousness makes you flush. "Besides, you kinda make me happy too."

"Do I?" HG grins quietly and you nod a little.

"Yeah." You exhale, watching HG shift into a sitting position opposite of you, against the door of your hidden away nook. "You do."

"It's been a very long time since I've made someone happy." HG murmurs, tucking her legs against her chest and hiding half of her face behind her knees. The admission is sad and right now HG looks like the teenage girl that she is, the kind of girl that makes soft, sad confessions in quiet carved out spaces. "What does it feel like?"

"It feels…tingly." You say after a moment and HG laughs quietly at that. "Like when your arms or legs fall asleep but better and all over. It's like my body is trying to explain this big, huge concept with pins and needles."

"An allegory." She chuckles softly from behind her legs and you grin at her for a moment before shifting.

"What do you write about?" You wonder absently, staring at her pretty eyes. "You said you wanted to be a writer."

"I did." She nods, "It's mostly fiction. Sometimes, science fiction." She admits and if possible you like her even more.

"Do you think I can read something of yours?" You wonder and you can tell HG's smiling by the way the corner of her eyes turn up.

"It's mediocre at best." HG murmurs and you roll your eyes.

"I seriously doubt that anything that you create would be mediocre." You point out and HG might be blushing behind her knees. "I bet your writing is amazing."

"Well then you're more than welcome to read my works if only to devastate your high expectations." HG laughs and you roll your eyes as you move forward because self depreciating HG is kind of adorable.

HG doesn't move as you crawl the short distance towards her until your kneeling in front of her, palms pressed against her kneecaps while she watches you with bright, interested eyes. She smiles when you wedge your fingers in the gap between her knees, you can't see her mouth but the corners of her eyes crinkle a little bit and when you ease her legs apart she doesn't put up a fight, just drops her head back against the door with a huff of laughter while you lean forward carefully, planting your hands on either side of her waist.

"Myka, what're you doing?" She wonders, sobering instantly at your proximity and you shrug with one shoulder while you creep closer until your hovering in front of her and her eyes keep glancing at your mouth.

"Living a little." You murmur cautiously while your heart flutters and you're pretty sure HG could see your pulse hammering away beneath your skin if she looked. "You did suggest I do that once or twice."

You brush your mouth against hers, just once before pulling away and licking your lips. You hear HG exhale shakily, shifting until her legs are squeezing at your hips and watching you with dark eyes like she's asking for more, so you kiss her again.

She lets you, just tips her head back and parts her lips with a soft moan that tracks down your spine and you pull away, staring down at HG.

You want to say something. Maybe kiss her some more. Maybe tell her about the heat humming under your skin.

"The way you're watching me right now," HG starts quietly after a moment, reaching up to push your ridiculous hair out of your face. "It's just…"

She doesn't finish her sentence, just bites her bottom lip before pulling your mouth back to hers_._


	6. Chapter 6

Tonight is not going as planned.

Which isn't really to say you had a plan at all but if you did, it wouldn't have gone like this…

You and HG were supposed to go to that Italian restaurant near her house and sit side by side in a tiny booth, surrounded by tacky Italian décor while you held hands under the checkered tabletop. After, you'd walk her to her front door and kiss her without tongue and it would've been the perfect first date.

But instead you're watching HG bond with Claudia over Spaghetti-O's.

Claudia's parents had called you frantic because of some emergency and begged you to keep Claudia for the night. HG had been beside you in the library, obviously eavesdropping on your conversation and watched with a smile as you, with _extreme _reluctance, agreed to baby-sit.

"How're you with kids?" You'd asked, hanging up your phone and tucking it into your pocket and HG's eyes softened curiously for a moment.

"Absolutely dreadful." She'd finally murmured, taking your hand easily and the sensation of her fingers sliding between yours had stolen your focus and all the questions you'd had about the look in her eyes were lost.

"Well, Pete has food poisoning so hopefully you're over exaggerating about your child care abilities because you're helping me." You'd murmured, watching HG's expression quirk in amusement.

"Convince me." She'd challenged quietly and after a quick glance to make sure you were alone, you did with your lips on hers.

"Where're you from?" Claudia asks loudly, drawing your attention with orange sauce smeared about her mouth while she spoons circle shaped noodles into her mouth. "You talk weird."

"I'm from London." HG answers easily from the other side of the table, amusement playing clearly on her face and you smirk down at the half-eaten sandwich in front of you. You'd given HG a rundown on Claudia on the way over, couldn't stress enough that the child genius was a handful and a half and HG had just smirked at you the entire time like you were challenging her.

"Are you smart like Myka?" Claudia wonders around a mouthful of Spaghetti-o's. You frown at the orange sauce streaked across her cheek. "You probably are since you and Mykes are friends."

"Oh, I'm not nearly as smart as Myka." HG laughs across from Claudia and you roll your eyes as you sit back in your chair because modesty is not HG's strong suit.

"That's because she's way smarter than me. Though Claudia will probably give you a run for your money, she's incredibly smart." You say and Claudia turns bright red but looks pleased across the dining room table.

"She's obviously very gifted." HG nods and Claudia is practically buzzing with energy in her chair under your attention.

You lean back in your chair as Claudia chatters away, providing HG with an entire run down of her short but somehow eccentric life while HG murmurs words in the appropriate gaps of silence. You're staring at HG and she catches you with a curious tilt of her brow and when you shrug in explanation HG gives you a smile that makes you all warm and blush-y.

"Pete likes you. That's how come I kinda know who you are." You glance away from HG's teasing mouth at Claudia's words. "He talks about you sometimes. You have an accent and he likes that. He calls you a crumpet, whatever that is, and he says he's gonna ask you on a date. Do you wanna go on a date with him too? Is a crumpet like a cookie?" HG just smiles indulgently at Claudia who is shoveling food into her mouth and staring at HG with wide eyes while a heavy, ugly feeling settles in the pit of your stomach. You glance down at the half eaten sandwich in front of you even as HG's socked foot nudges yours under the table."That's sweet but I'm afraid Pete isn't really my type." HG offers primly but pointedly before kicking your shin under the table. You wince and glare at her while she smiles pleasantly. "And a crumpet is a sort of griddle cake.""Sucks for him. Its like he wants to marry you or something." Claudia shrugs, dragging the back of her hand over her mouth and leaving a smear of orange sauce on her cheek."Yeah. Or _something_." You glower at HG who tilts her head then kicks you again, harder. She's calling you an idiot with just her eyes and you stick your tongue out at her.

You don't even know how to explain the hot jealousy wrapping around your insides because there's _nothing _to be jealous of really but it doesn't stop the feeling from knotting around your guts. HG isn't interested in Pete. She's made that very clear and you know that you're the one being idiotic in this entire situation."Hey, HG, do you wanna see my room?" Claudia wonders excitedly, changing subjects so fast that your head spins. She's already shoving her empty bowl away and recklessly interrupting the wordless conversation you and HG are having."I'd love to." HG laughs as Claudia jumps to her feet and grasps her hand. "I'm sure Myka won't mind cleaning up before joining us."

"Ok! But hurry up, Myka! I wanna show you all the stuff I built!"

/

You're sprawled in the recliner, your book heavy in your lap while you drift blearily on the edge of sleep and the television drones in the background.

You count tonight as success because there was only one small fire, everyone's eyebrows are intact and HG is in the process of reading Claudia a story which means she's getting to bed at a reasonable hour. In fact, the most successful night you and Pete ever managed still involved Pete loosing an entire toenail, you breaking the Donovan's fine china and Claudia going to sleep at 3am.

HG shuffles into the living room and you watch her pause with bleary eyes. She smiles at you before coming to stand over you and moving your book to the coffee table carefully.

"I was reading that." you argue quietly and HG only chuckles while your fingers float out to touch her hand. "Are you guys done? She in bed?"

HG nods, eyes closing for a moment while your fingers slip between hers. "That child is brilliant."

"An evil genius." You mutter as HG face goes contemplative. Then she's moving, slipping carefully into your lap and the chair rocks back with a groan while she gages your reaction.

Hg is well versed in intimacy and you're really just playing catch up but you like that she's waiting patiently for you. Nudging gently at your boundaries but never shoving despite that one night together.

"You lied earlier. You said you weren't good with kids but your amazing with her." You say as

she settles and you lick your suddenly dry lips as she rests against you. The sway of her hips is distracting as she sinks into you and you grip at her waist dumbly.

"Myka," she starts thoughtfully and you smile up at her expectantly. "You are amazing."

You laugh at that. "I didn't really do anything but thanks."

"You are doing more than you know, actually." HG murmurs before dipping her head to kiss you softly. Electricity sparks under your skin instantly and you wonder if it'll always be like this with HG. You know you want it to be.

She kisses you again, warm and lazy, until your slipping your tongue into her mouth while she chuckles quietly. She stops laughing when you bite at her lip, just moans softly as you tuck your hand against the camber of her jaw.

You know your eyes are glazed over and your mouth is red when she pulls back a little. Her dark eyes gaze at you searchingly and you lick your lips and smile.

"I'm okay. We don't have to stop." You whisper, dragging your thumb against her bottom lip. "Unless you-"

"What I'm feeling right now." She starts softly. "I wish I could feel this way for eternity."

You don't know how to respond to that beyond kissing her chin softly, the curve of her cheek when she smiles faintly. Her lips find yours again while her hands find your stomach, palms flat against your belly while she fingers the buttons of your shirt.

Her lips drag down away from yours, wet and soft against your jaw and HG moans when your hands slip down to grip the back of her thighs.

So, by some unspoken agreement you and HG have limited your physical _interactions _with one another since that night the two of you spent together. You think she's afraid of scaring you off and you know you just want to be sure and sober the next time something like that happens but this thing between the two of you is rather _relentless. _

So much so thatthings have escalated from chaste, soft kisses and now you guys are hovering somewhere around blind groping territory. Obviously, now is not the time to test those ever expanding boundaries but surging hormones are making you feel drunk and HG is making you feel invincible and you let HG nudge your shirt off you shoulder a little while she sucks too hard on your neck.

"You'll leave a mark." You rasp even as HG's hips roll forward absently and her teeth catch against your collarbone. She only throws you a quick glance before biting at the curve of your neck and the fireworks that shoot off in your brain make you squeeze your eyes shut with a hiss.

She laughs, low and soft, even as you lean forward to kiss her blindly. The sound dies though when the sound of a bedroom door creaking open reaches the two of you.

"You've got to be kidding me." HG mutters around your bottom lip before flopping down beside you in the recliner while you jerk your shirt back into place and wipe furiously at your mouth.

HG is chuckling quietly and you elbow her just as Claudia appears from the hall.

"What're you guys doing?" She yawns, rubbing at her eyes and you swallow as you blush bright red.

"Nothing!" You _shout, _choking on nervous laughter while HG shakes her head in amusement. "We weren't doing anything. Why? What's, uh, what's wrong?"

"I need a milkshake." Claudia shrugs. "Can I make one?"

You start to tell her no but HG is elbowing you _hard _and you grunt instead.

"Of course, Darling. Who're we to stand in the way of a milk shake craving?" HG says brightly and Claudia beams.

"Dude, you're awesome." She mutters before zipping into the kitchen and you turn to glare at HG.

"She's supposed to be in bed." You hiss and HG rolls her eyes, swooping forward to kiss your pouting mouth.

"Don't be a party pooper, Myka." She teases and you turn away to the rattling coming from the kitchen.

"I am not a party pooper." You glower and HG laughs, kissing your cheek and nuzzling your neck.

The sound of the blender bursting to life startles you and HG's mouth slips against your jaw with an unamused groan but you both jump to your feet when the sound is swallowed up by the boom of a small explosion.

"Claudia!" You call, skidding into the kitchen with HG against your back and you gape at the girl with huge eyes.

"So," Claudia starts, wiping at the chocolate ice cream splatter across her face before glancing around the kitchen which is _covered _in ice cream. "This looks a lot worst than it actually is."

/

A pillow lands unceremoniously beside you on the floor and you glance up from your book to eye it while you turn the page absently. Then HG is dropping down gracefully too, mimicking your position on her belly next to you on the plush carpet.

She's visiting under the guise of needing help with the science class she's actually acing and you'd watched from the stairs as she'd strolled into your house behind Tracy, easily charming the pants off both your mother and father before turning towards you and loudly declaring you a life savor for taking her on.

Now you're all closed up in your bedroom with textbooks scattered around and music bubbling softly from your laptop.

"Hello." You greet quietly and HG just smiles at you, dark eyes sparkling while she tucks the pillow under her chin.

"Hello." She murmurs just as softly and the way her voice sounds right now gives you butterflies. "How's your reading going?"

"Fine." You laugh at the mischievousness glittering in her eyes. It makes you lean over and kiss her softly. You're not expecting the way she surges forward and _licks _into your mouth though and you pull back with a gasp. "HG."

" Myka, what must I do to convince you to focus on me instead of that novel?" HG questions teasingly, dark eyes focusing on your mouth for a moment before meandering back up to meet your gaze. And honestly, it wouldn't take a lot but HG is playful and _roguish _right now like she wants a challenge so you shrug. "At this moment I'm liable to do anything for your attentions."

"I don't know if there's anything you can do." You breathe, "Melville is pretty engaging."

HG smiles at that, inching closer to you on the carpet. "I can be quite engaging myself."

You don't doubt that at all as you watch HG reach to close your book and push it away a little before leaning over and pressing her lips to your neck.

"HG." You laugh as she pushes your hair out of her way. You glance up at the shut but unlocked bedroom door and bite down on your lip.

"Darling, don't make me beg." She pleads right against your ear and goose bumps erupt along your arms . "I really want to kiss you. A bit of a snog if you will…I've procured a pillow for the occasion."

You laugh at that, at her big pleading eyes and the curl of her lips while you bones buzz with excitement. "A pillow, huh?"

HG nods proudly, nudging it towards you. "I did."

You laugh as she swoops forward, prodding you over onto your back before adjusting the pillow beneath your head.

"Comfortable?" HG murmurs, sweeping your hair away from your face and she waits for you to nod before she drops her mouth against yours.

Or tries to but you tilt your head away and she laughs against your jaw with a groan, hand pressing against your stomach.

"Myka. Lovely, lovely Myka." She murmurs and you laugh as she tries again, this time catching your lips and you smile into her mouth.

The thing is, kissing HG is _intense _and she laughs at the way your brushing your lips against hers but then there's a hand in your hair holding you where she wants you and a tongue in your mouth and all you can do is moan and try to keep up.

"Is this alright?" HG pulls back to ask after what feels like the longest moments as she crawls on top of you, settling a knee on either side of your hips and you nod breathlessly, licking at your bruised lips. You're not a very religious person but right now you're praying to anyone that'll listen that no one decides to walk into your room right now. "Positive?"

"It feels-You feel really good." You say honestly, letting your hands settle on her waist before nudging your way under her shirt as she nuzzles at your throat. Your insides feel like they're in messy knots and your brain feels mushy and useless beyond the way HG feels and the way HG tastes and _God, please _don't let anyone walk into your bedroom right now. You shut your eyes as HG leans up to press a kiss to your forehead, then your eyelids.

"We could stop." HG offers quietly before kissing you again, soft and pulling. "And I could let you continue reading the ever engaging Melville."

"I bet you think you're so funny." You laugh breathlessly, moving a hand to sweep her hair back and craning your neck to kiss her even as your fingers tangle around a thin chain at her neck.

She whispers, "Its been rumored that I'm in possession of quite the wit." while you tug the chain free of her collar and a gold locket tumbles free to hang between the two of you. You try to remember if you've seen it before but you can't recall.

HG stills above you, the dizzying smile she'd been wearing seconds before fading away as you finger the locket absently and the tips of her fingers trace across your mouth. HG watches your thumb smooth over the intricate detailing on the locket before lifting her eyes to yours.

"It's beautiful." You murmur as she trails her fingers down your chin before sitting up suddenly. "HG?"

You follow her up dumbly, her legs still bracketing your waist and her knees pressing into your ribs while she tugs the necklace over her head with fumbling hands before thrusting it at you jerkily.

"HG?" You ask again, blinking at the jewelry in her hand dumbly and you have no idea what's going on but you know its something important as you watch the locket sway with the slight tremble in her hand, your fingers reaching back to curl over the top of her socked feet.

"Myka," HG rasps, a smile that you think she might intend to be reassuring, sweeps across her face as she squeezes your sides with her knees. "Take it."

You do, the metal warm and heavy in your palm and you turn it over and over before looking at HG in confusion.

"Open it." HG whispers, smile fading right before your eyes and you glance down at the locket sitting in your hand. "Go on."

"You don't have to do this." You blurt and HG's gaze drifts upwards from the piece of jewelry your holding to land on your face. Her eyes are wide and bright with what you realize is nervousness and your fingers close tight around the locket. "I'm not…I don't…Whatever in here is yours and I don't have to…"

"Myka, I'm very aware that this isn't necessary." HG breathes, pushing a hand through her hair absently while she watches you steadily. "But, I _want _to share this with you."

HG has been offering herself to you in bits and pieces because you asked. Shining a flickering flame on the shadowed parts of herself because you whispered that you wanted to see all of her. You have a tendency to present yourself to her in all of your awkward, nerdy glory because you can't seem to _help it _but she responds to your loss of self control with a smile and a careful reveal of her layers. You wont lie, its beautiful to watch the way she unravels.

"Okay," You swallow, "Okay."

You hold the locket between both hands, use your thumbnail to pry it apart at the latch while your heart beats loudly in your ears. You look up at HG one last time to see her eyes focused on your hands, her mouth pressed it a hard line and with a slow breath you open it.

You don't know what you expected but its not _this_. In fact, its so far from _this _that you chuckle breathlessly as you stare down at the locket and the picture inside of it.

Who is this?" you wonder quietly, smiling at the image of the tiny baby swaddled in pink, yawning up at you with shinning eyes open and dark hair curling against her forehead. "Who is she?""That," HG starts and you glance up to find her gazing down at the picture with soft eyes and suddenly you know what she's going to say before she says it. There's a swell of sudden realization that breaks over you right before she speaks. "That is my Christina. My daughter."Her eyes are on your face suddenly, searching and waiting, almost challenging, and you blink down at the picture again. You're aware that the answers to so many of your questions about HG are right here in your palm and that HG has just handed them over to you.

"She's beautiful." you say finally because of all the thoughts currently filling your mind, its the most prominent. You find yourself grinning up at HG who is staring at you nearly expressionless before looking back at the picture. "She looks just like you. I mean, was there even another person involved in her conception? Because she's a tiny, more wrinkly version of you. She's _you_, ya know? Even her nose-"A watery chuckle cuts you off and you're surprised to find HG smiling at you now and wiping away tears. You grin at her a little bit, glancing down at the photo one last time before closing it carefully and leaning forward to slip the chain down over her head. It catches on her ears and nose and she laughs and sniffles a little bit as you finally get it around her neck.

"She's really beautiful, HG." You whisper, sweeping her hair away from her neck so it wont snag in the chain.

"Myka, you are the only person outside of my immediate family that knows about her." She breathes quietly as you use your thumb to brush away tears and your own hands are shaking as HG shows you her heart. "I'm in no way ashamed of her or even my past, really, but my mulish family with their Neanderthal ideals …"

"I'm so happy you told me about Christina. Thank you." You whisper as HG pulls her bottom lip between her teeth and nodding. "And I'm sorry your family sucks."

HG laughs wetly at that, "You've possibly the most sincere heart I've ever encountered." You shrug a little, blushing too and HG laughs again, sniffling slightly while her hands come up to touch the tops of your knees.

"Is Christina with your family right now?" You wonder and HG nods.

"They couldn't handle the scandal of Helena Wells carrying a child so I spent much of last year being home schooled and then it was decided that I would go to America to finish school after I gave birth and my child would stay with my family in London until I returned." She sighs and you watch the longing take over her features.

"You miss her a lot." You say and HG nods again, licking her lips.

"Every moment of every day." She admits, "Mother sends me photographs and letter but its-"

"Not the same." You finish for her, watching HG hunch forward.

"She's growing up without her mother." She exhales, glancing up at you and you scoot closer before wrapping her up in your arms. She doesn't fight you, just slumps into your chest and cries.

/

She looks different, you think, as you kneel at the side of your bed and offer her the glass of water you just ran downstairs to get. She takes it slowly and you watch her sit up just enough to drink. She looks tired and raw and her eyes are still a little red but she also looks _real_, like maybe this is who she is without all of her layers.

"Gosh, you're so pretty." You say stupidly and HG just laughs as she reaches to set her glass on the bedside table before shuffling down against your pillows again.

"Lie down with me?" She smiles in a way that probably gets her anything she's ever wanted while she reaches out to pinch at the spot on your shirt that's still wet with her tears and even though you shouldn't, you find yourself toeing off your sneakers and climbing into bed with her.

"Will you be alright?" You ask while you curl up behind her, tangling your legs with hers carefully and sliding your arm over her waist.

"Of course." She whispers as she traces over your hand slowly, fingertips tracing your knuckles. "Catharsis is nothing if not strenuous"

You hum in agreement, pressing closer and kissing her shoulder through her blouse. The affection you feel for this girl is indescribable in this moment and you don't fight the feeling as it settles on you like an anvil.

"If youth, throughout all history, had had a champion to stand up for it; to show a doubting world that a child can think; and, possibly, do it practically; you wouldn't constantly run across folks today who claim that "a child don't know anything."" You murmur the words from memory, pressing the infamous first lines of Gadsby against HG's shoulder. She exhales quietly, you can feel her ribs swell then deflate beneath your arm as her body settles into the mattress just a little more and her hand squeezes tightly around yours.

"A child's brain starts functioning at birth; and has, amongst its many infant convolutions, thousands of dormant atoms, into which God has put a mystic possibility for noticing an adult's act, and figuring out its purport."

You keep going for as long as you can but eventually you loose the words and your voice fades until its just you breathing in and HG breathing out.

It's quiet for a long time, the muted sounds from outside drifting through your half open window. Floating in and out of the room and you think maybe HG's fallen asleep. You tuck your knees up behind hers and think of her with a wailing baby in her arms for just a moment.

Suddenly, HG is turning in your arms and you loosen your grip as she moves to face you, eyes soft and heavy lidded.

"Hello." You greet, curving your hand around her waist and squeezing while she fits her legs between and around yours in an intimate embrace. She just smiles at you, burrowing into your pillow a little.

"I'm falling for you, you know." HG murmurs after a while, eyes glowing in the afternoon light that spills past your half pulled curtains. "Admittedly, I was ridiculously fond of you the first time I laid eyes on you, lost in your literature and ignoring the world, but the more time we spend together, the more I…I'm falling."

Her fingers move to sift through the curls of your hair, her gaze focused on the strands tangling around her fingertips. "Are you just saying this because I recited Gadsby from memory?"

HG grins at you, shifting closer and tugging on a spiral of your hair. "Your endless consumption of literature helps but is ultimately just one of many reasons that I adore you. I'm admitting this because it's true, its how I feel."

"Oh." You swallow as your heart beats harder, so loudly that HG should be able to hear it as clearly as the cars passing on the street below your window. "I-Uhm…"

"I've gone and scared you." HG whispers apologetically and you lick your lips, watch her eyes track the movement before shaking your head. "Say something then?"

You like to think that you have a better than average grip on the English language but in this moment words appear to be failing you in spectacular glory. HG is showing you her heart again, bright red and honest, and you can't find an appropriately sincere way to tell her that you like her so much its scary.

"I really, really, _really _like you, HG." You finally sputter and the sheer lack of eloquence in the words tumbling from your mouth right now would be mesmerizing if it weren't so horrifying. "Really."

"_Really_?" She teases with relief in her voice and you reach up to tug at her wrist, guiding it from your hair and pressing it to your chest so she can feel the fierce beat of your heart against her palm.

"Really." You whisper and HG's hand curls in your shirt, eyes soft and lips parted and you suck in a breath before she's kissing you gently.

The air is tense when she pulls away but then HG is smiling at you a little bit, actually chuckling when you swiftly tip her over onto her back and slide a knee over her hip. You're surprised by how much you like her here, in your bed like this.

You sit straight up and HG's hands immediately go to your stomach, scratching her way beneath the hem of your tank top. "What if someone comes in?"

"I dunno." You shrug, biting your lip as her hands wander to your butt. "I'll tell them something horrible happened and you needed CPR."

"You're truly ridiculous." HG hums before curling her tongue past your teeth. Your skin prickles and when you shift restlessly against her, HG nudges a leg between yours.

"Maybe I'd say I was just kissing my girlfriend." You murmur against her lips and HG pauses for a beat, thumb tracing waistband of your running shorts.

"I'd like that, I think." She finally says and your mouth flickers up into a crooked grin.

"You know I'm talking about you, right? You would be my girlfriend in that scenario." You affirm and HG is beaming at you.

"You're adorable. Do you know that?" She sighs and you laugh. "I've always been yours. Since the day I laid eyes on you I've been yours."

"When you say things like that. It makes me feel…indestructible." You whisper and she sighs again.

"Myka, I would shout my feelings for you from the tallest mountain top just as earnestly as I'd whisper them against you ear." Lips brush yours and you tremble a little as a chill races down your spine.

You kiss her , you want her to taste how you feel on the tip of your tongue and she moans underneath you like maybe she does.

You kiss her hungrily, pushing under her blouse and tracing her ribs while she twists underneath you.

She pulls her lips away, dragging her mouth to your ear and you don't realize that your rolling your hips against her until she threads her fingers into your hair and whispers how good you feel into your ear.

You lift your head to glance at your bedroom door, hesitating for a moment before HG drags your focus back to her.

"Myka, don't stop." She exhales and you bite your lip, shaking your head a little because your parents are right down stairs but HG just kisses you hard and bucks up against you.

Her hands are buried in your hair, heels of her hands pressed against your ears, forcing you to maintain eye contact as her hips follow the clumsy rhythm of yours. She looks amazing spread out underneath you the way she is, with sweaty hair curling against her forehead and her eyes dark and shining.

It too much too fast, your heart pounding and white-hot pressure building and _building _low in your stomach until your finishing with a choked cry.

You suck in a desperate breath as a shudder rips down your spine, HG's mouth moving to brush lightly against your jaw as you come undone. She holds you tightly while you shake and _arch, _murmuring words against your skin as your eyes flutter shut helplessly.

You're still trembling and attempting to regain the ability to think or move when HG pulls your mouth to hers and kisses you sloppily.

"You're gorgeous." She exhales and you swallow dryly as you slump down against HG fully, your shaky arms giving out suddenly and she laughs. You're not sure how rutting against someone like an animal can be gorgeous but you like that HG thought you were.

HG sort of knocks you over with a grunt and you can embarrassingly feel yourself suddenly exhausted as she crowds close so you're face to face. She reaches out to smooth your hairline and you absently trace the chain around her neck.

"Next time, I want to use my mouth on you. Has anyone ever done that for you?" She says after a moment and you laugh nervously, blushing despite what just happened.

"I, uhm, no. No one's ever." You manage and HG looks at with you eager eyes.

"I'd like to be the first." HG whispers and you nod. "I promise that you'll like it."

"I know I will. I'm just not sure I'll-I'll survive something like that." You laugh and HG smirks proudly. "Don't make that face."

"What face should I make when you're complementing my sexual prowess?" She questions and you roll your eyes, stretching dreamily. "You're falling asleep."

You shake your head, kissing her nose and your eyelids weigh a ton in right now. "No, I want to do…anything you want…you know, for you."

HG kisses your nose in return before scrambling out of your bed entirely.

"Hey." You call, sitting up a little as she snags your desk chair on the way to the door and shoves it under the doorknob.

"All I really want is to hold on to you. Just for a while." She sighs turning to stare at you. "But I'd also like it very much if you took your shirt off whilst it happened."

"Pervert." You murmur even as you twist out of your shirt shyly. HG heads back to bed slowly, watching as you manage to get your bra off without looking like a complete idiot and toss both items away.

"Can I touch you a bit too?" She asks softly even as she unbuttons her own blouse, one knee landing on the bed as she shrugs out of it.

"You can do whatever you want to me." You blurt and HG's eyes lift from your chest to your eyes as she tugs off her blouse and then her own bra, a soft smile pulling at her lips.

You both manage to climb under the rumpled blankets and curl together on your sides so your face to face again. You fall asleep with HG's fingertips dragging dizzying patterns against your stomach.


	7. Chapter 7

"Oh my God." You exhale, flipping a crinkled page and tucking your fingertips against the corner to keep it down as your eyes continue to devour the handwritten words scribbled neatly on the sheet. "Oh my God!"

"Myka," HG sighs loudly and you ignore the mix of amusement and exasperation in her voice, choosing instead to turn another page and become even more ensnarled in her beautifully crafted words. She's warm against your side on the park bench, breathing against your neck in way you don't think she intends to be distracting as she reads over your shoulder. "You're just being ridiculous now. Sweet but ridiculous."

HG takes a swipe for the journal, her journal, in your hand but you jerk it away before she can make contact and stand up from the bench. HG had been that insolently arrogant when you begged to read some of her writing, deeming it far too brilliant for you to understand much to your amusement but she'd been sheepish when she'd untucked it from her bag today and handed it to you while the sun beamed down on you. You'd expected her writing to be nothing less than good because HG's mind is a glorious thing but this…this is something else entirely. _She _is something else entirely.

"Oh my God." You exhale, turning your shoulder and dodging her grabby hands when she rises from the bench to lunge at you. "I cant believe you wrote this!"

"Oh, please. Don't sound so shocked." HG Scoffs at you and you look up from her words to grin at her. She charges at you again and you side step her, swinging the journal up over your head. "You're being extremely childish right now."

"You are." You challenge with a laugh as HG grabs you by the front of your shirt, bold as anything and all sorts of pretty with the sun shining in her hair and light glittering in her eyes.

"Myka Bering, you are so incredibly annoying." She huffs but her face looks as though she wouldn't mind if you kissed her right now, in the middle of the park and under the afternoon sun.

"And you, Helena G. Wells, are supremely talented." You declare before ducking away from her and her sneaky, reach-y hands. You turn to hop up on the bench so you're towering above her and she has to tip her head back to watch you. "When you publish your novel, the one sure to win multiple awards, I want the first copy. Signed personally and everything so I can tell anyone who'll listen that I always, always, _always _knew you were special!"

Your voice is loud in the open air and it gets swept up in the gentle wind and spread across the park. Melting and blending with children's shrieking laughter and the cheerful barks of dogs while HG gazes up at you.

"Myka." Helena laughs, cheeks coloring as you peer at her and the flush in her face makes you crouch until your eye to eye, so you can get a better look at her face.

"You're blushing." You observe, tucking the journal against your chest with one hand while you run the knuckles of the other hand against her jaw. "Look at you."

"You're making me feel…strange." She whispers, reaching up to press her fingertips to the inside of your wrist.

"Strange?" You wonder and she shakes her head a little like she's embarrassed. "HG, c'mon."

"It is one thing to believe in myself and know that I am strong enough to reach my goals." She starts softly, peering at you sincerely. "It is something else entirely to have someone you adore, believe in you so implicitly."

Her words give you these amazing butterflies and she tips her head into your palm when your fingers drift through her hair. You think its sad that HG always seems surprised by the things you see in her, even more surprised by the fact that you like what you see. "I do believe in you. I believe in you a lot more than I've believed in anything else."

"Can you come down from there? Please?" She whispers stepping backwards and tugging on your wrist but you straighten and pull too.

"Nope. You come up here, with me." She laughs, sweet and quiet, as you haul her up on the bench with you so you're both standing on top of the world. "Please."

"You're belligerent this afternoon." She sighs, tugging her journal from your fingers while you focus on the freckles dusted over her cheekbones.

"I'm happy." You shrug, taking her hand tightly in yours. "I'm really happy you're here. I'm really happy you found me. I'm really happy you like me."

"Oh Myka. I more than like you. Can't you tell?" HG breathes and your heart thumps happy and bright inside your ribcage.

"I had my suspicions." You exhale, turning to sit atop the back of the bench and HG sits too. Her hand grips the wood right beside yours and you grin when her pinky rubs over yours.

"So I have a request but I want you to know in advanced you do not have to say yes." Helena says and you smile at her and hook your pinky around hers.

"Okay."

"My aunt and uncle have become curious as to who I'm spending all of my time with lately and they'd like you to come to dinner tomorrow night." HG states plainly and you feel your eyes get huge.

"Wow, I uh-" You sputter dumbly and HG laughs before twisting her hand to cover yours.

"You don't have to accept the offer." She murmurs, squeezing your hand under hers but you know that she wouldn't be asking unless she did want you to do this.

"Should I wear a dress or-or…Do they know that I'm your…"

"As far as they're concerned we are very close friends." HG interrupts gently. "And you're no obligated to wear any sort of dress if you were to attend."

"HG, do you want me to go? Because if you do then I will." You say and you watch in fascination as a blush floods her cheek. "You do, don't you?"

"I may want to show my aunt and uncle that I've spending time with a wonderful person." She shrugs and you smile even though there's the distinct weight of nervousness in your belly.

"Okay." You say anxiously, nodding a little. "Okay, then I'll do it."

"Myka, darling, you don't have to."

"But I am so…I'm going to meet your family." You say more resolutely, reaching up with your free hand to swipe your hair out of your face and when you glance at HG she's looking at you warmly. "HG, stop it! It's not that big of a deal. I mean, I've met the parents of the person I was dating before."

"Ah, yes. _Sam_." HG sighs with obvious disdain and you laugh, slipping your hand from hers and hoping down and off the bench.

"Don't do that." You smile up at her, touching your fingertips to the denim stretched across her knees.

"You've never talked about Sam. I only know of his existence. Nothing more." HG says and you shrug thoughtfully, scratching at her jeans absently while she watches you.

"Sam was my only serious boyfriend. He was smart and handsome and my first…almost everything. He taught me how to ice skate." You say openly. "He was a really great guy and his parents were amazing. But his dad got a job halfway around the world… so he had to leave."

"You two didn't try to make it work long distance?" She asks imploringly and you shake your head.

"It wouldn't have worked. I mean, long distance rarely does." You sigh. "And I didn't want to watch us drift away from one another until one of us did something stupid or-or got up the nerve to break up with the other."

"Did you love him?" HG asks curiously and you shrug again, dragging your nails up her legs to the outside of her thighs.

"Maybe." You finally sigh. "Probably."

"Do you miss him?" HG asks carefully and you bite your lip and look at her face, brow furrowed in sympathy and protectiveness.

"I used too a lot." You admit. "But not anymore."

HG just watches you as you grab for her wrists and lets you pull her down from the bench until she's standing in front of you, looking up into your eyes. You tug her with you across the grass and she follows you through the trees to a far more secluded corner of the park, hidden behind the wide trunk of a tree.

"Myka, what I feel for you extends far beyond _likine_." she says softly with dark eyes earnest and honest when you come to a stop underneath the branches. You want to kiss her and with a quick glance over your shoulder, you take the risk and press your lips to hers.

/

Pete finds you in the ice cream shop, working your way through a sundae with nuts and you give him a helpless look as he approaches you cautiously.

"You're eating sugar." He points out the obvious and you nod, shoveling another spoonful of ice cream and banana into your mouth.

"Stress." Is all you mumble, licking your spoon as Pete sits down across from you. "Lots and lots of stress."

"What in the world has you so stressed? Did you use loose one of your math match thingies?" He wonders, leaning forward in an attempt to stick his finger in your ice cream but you bat his hand away with your spoon and he jerks back with a whimper. "Ow."

"I have to tell you something." You mumble, exhale hard. "Something big…huge."

"Oh, snap, what is it?" Pete hisses, a grin splitting his face as he rocks forward in his chair. "Did you hook up with someone? It wasn't Joey because he said you wouldn't give him the time of day at my party. Did you-did you…wait, you're not preggo or something are you? Because I'm not ready to be an uncle!…"

"Pete. Shut up for a second, will ya?" You exhale tightly, glancing around the ice cream parlor but its mostly empty because eating ice cream in cool weather isn't a normal thing. "Because I can't…I can barely do this and I won't be able to do this at all if you don't stop talking."

"Will you just tell me if it's a guy? Is it the guy in biology with the wooden teeth?" Pete wonders, licking at his ice cream splattered knuckles. " 'Cause, I see the way he looks at you when you wear your mathlete sweatshirt."

"What?! No! I am not dating the guy with the _wooden teeth_!" You frown, spooning more ice cream into your mouth. "Am I so-so _atrocious _that the only person you think would be interested in me is a guy who brushes his teeth with Pledge?"

"Right now? Kinda." Pete winces as you swallow another mouthful of chocolate and you roll your eyes. "But usually there are lots of perfectly nice dudes with, ya know, real teeth that would be more than happy to, excuse my French, tap that."

"Thank you." You sigh, cracking your spoon against Pete's knuckles again when he makes another attempt to prod your ice cream.

"Ouch! Would you stop doing that?" He yelps, pressing the back of his hand to his mouth again.

"Keep your filthy hands away from my stress ice cream." You mutter around your spoon and Pete glares at you.

"Alright, so tell me what's up? Is this the same thing you were going to tell me the other day?" He exhales slumping into his chair and staring at your ice cream forlornly and God, you hate that look so you take one last spoonful before dropping the spoon in the container and shoving it across the table. Pete perks up like a kid on Christmas.

"It is."

You watch him stuff a spoonful in his mouth then wince from brain freeze, gathering your courage and pluck and whatever else you can find while reminding yourself that this is just Pete.

"Pete?" You exhale nervously after a moment and he glances up at you, smile fading at the look on your face and you rub a hand over your brow hard.

"Mykes, c'mon. Talk to me." He says quietly, ignoring the ice cream for a moment and you swallow tightly, feel tears pricking hotly at your eyes and you roll your eyes towards the ceiling. "I may not be the most observant guy in the planet but you've been giving off some seriously weird vibes and I know something's up. Just talk to me."

"Promise you won't be mad at me?" You whisper thickly, looking at him again and he nods instantly, holding out his fist towards you with his pinky extended.

"Pinky promise." He offers solemnly and suddenly you have no idea why you ever thought you could keep this from Pete. He's your best friend, more often than not your only friend and the most loyal person you've ever met. You love him and he loves you and you just don't want that to change.

You hook your pinky finger around his tightly for a moment before pulling back and tucking your hands between your knees nervously.

"You know after the cops broke up the party…Me and HG went back to her house and-and I…I mean, we…something happened."

"Something?" Pete prods gently and you nod.

"She-she kissed me and we slept together." You force past the tightness in your throat, staring down at your lap which means you aren't even expecting the spray of ice cream that flies across the table courtesy of Pete's mouth.

"Oh my god!" Pete cries, wiping his mouth and you stare at him in horror, wiping his milky spittle off of your cheek.

"Pete! What the hell?!" You squawk, wiping at your face again and Pete just stares at you like his eyeballs are two sizes too big for his sockets.

"Helena?" Pete asks complete and utter disbelief coloring his words. " You and HG?"

" There's more." You mumble, blushing furiously and Pete blinks at you, jaw practically on the table. "It's not- she's the person I've been spending so much time with because she and I are, kind of dating…each other."

Pete's face gets all twisted up and you have to look away from him, fisting your hands against your knees. "Oh."

"I know. I know its-its…" You start and this whole situation is so many things that you don't even know how to finish that sentence and when you glance up at Pete he's staring hard at the table. "I'm sorry."

"Mykes," he bites out and suddenly a breathless sob rattles up from your chest . His eyes dart up to look at you. "Why didn't you say something or-or tell me?"

"I don't know. I-I was scared. I _am _scared." You choke out and Pete just blinks at you. "You're my best friend, ya know, and I know you had a thing for HG and-and I didn't want to loose you."

"Myka." Pete interrupts sharply and you swallow hard, meeting his gaze. "You could never loose me, okay? Never ever. You and me are together until the end of time."

The sound that escapes you is a half laughter and half sob and you nod your head even as hot tears spill from your eyes. "Okay."

Then he's shoving up out of his chair and moving around the table to drag you up into a hug that you sink into. You're crying suddenly, hard and jagged against his shoulder because you've been holding this in for so long and the only way it can escape is like this, cruel and broken while Pete's hands keep you grounded. You hold onto him until the tears give way to something lighter and relieved before stepping out of his arms.

"Better?" He asks softly and you nod, wiping at your eyes and trying to hide your embarrassment at loosing it in an ice cream parlor. "I'm not gonna lie, this whole thing is a lot to take in."

"I know. I'm sorry." You croak before clearing your throat and Pete laughs a little.

"And I need you to stop apologizing to me, okay? You didn't do anything wrong." He smiles widely. "It's not your fault a beautiful British babe found you irresistible."

"I guess not." You agree and Pete nods. "But I'm still sorry for not trusting you or our friendship enough to tell you."

"Yeah, well, now you know not to ever underestimate the power of Pyka."

:Pyka?" You ask, "Is that what you call us?"

"What else am I supposed to call us?" Pete states like its obvious and you snicker a little before turning to drop into your seat and Pete does the same. "So, you and HG…together."

"Yep." You whisper, clearing your throat while a strange, brand new kind of pride swells up inside of you. "Me and HG. She's just so…"

"Man, I knew she wasn't crashing our tutor sessions because she couldn't figure out what 2+2 equaled! I mean, admittedly I thought she was trying to get into my pants but she was trying to get a piece of Myka all along." Pete laughs, dragging his hand over his face in disbelief as he shifts forward towards you again, ignoring the melting ice cream sitting in front of him.

"Pete." You bite out as you flush but its less mortification at Pete's too big mouth and more the butterflies flapping around in your stomach that is making you turn red.

"Now, don't get me wrong because you and HG, well that is so hot…and awesome." Pete finally sighs, resting his elbow on the table and his chin in his palm while he stares at you like he's never seen you before. "That is awesomely hot."

"You're being super pervy right now." You grunt, reaching over to drag your ice cream back to yourself, shoveling a spoonful of melted chocolate into your mouth. "Just so you know."

"Does anyone else know about you guys?" Pete asks. "Your parents or Trace?"

"No, you're the only one." You say, wincing slightly. "Could you imagine if my dad found out? 'Cause I can't."

"Then he won't find out. Though I doubt him finding out you are dating a great, intelligent girl wouldn't be as awful as that time I told him we were dating." Pete offers.

"He tried to hit you with his car." You sigh and Pete nods.

"That he did."

You laugh a little as relief loosens the tension in your spine, in your shoulders and when you think about how much ice cream you just consumed, you're suddenly nauseous.

"So how're you feeling right now?"

"Relieved…so relieved and overwhelmed by how much I love you right now." You shrug and Pete nods sympathetically, grinning a little. "And sick. I feel sick."

"Well, you just ate an unholy amount of dairy." He sighs, standing and moving around the table to grab your hands and tug you to your feet. "So lets get you home and onto a treadmill."

"Can I puke on the way?" You ask and Pete nods, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.

"Sure you can. We'll get you a bucket or something." Pete murmurs, hugging you to his side. "Ah, girls with accents, no one can resist them."

/

You buy a dress.

You actually buy two dresses after insisting Tracy come to the mall with you and help you pick something out. She watches you suspiciously the entire time but you ignore her and flit nervously from one rack to another until you find something you like and that Tracy approves of.

"Is it a date?" Tracy asks curiously, leaning into your bathroom while you tug your brush through your hair. "Is that why you're getting all dressed up?"

You blink at her in the mirror before setting down your brush and frowning down at the multiple tubes of lipstick on the countertop nervously. "Sorta."

"Sorta?" Tracy giggles, stepping into the bathroom fully and you shrug as she comes to stand beside you, easily picking up a tube of lipstick and taking off the top. "Here."

You turn so she can apply your lipstick for you, which she does with an ease that you're kind of envious of. "Do I know this person you're sorta going out with?"

"Yeah. You do." You say honestly, nerves pushing up from your belly when Tracy's eyes dart to meet yours. She doesn't say anything though, just finishes applying your lipstick before stepping back.

"It's not Pete, is it?" She finally wonders and you gape at her.

"God, no." You huff and Tracy smiles a bit. "It is most definitely not Pete."

"Well, whoever it is…you must like them a lot." Tracy points out, reaching out to fuss with your curls. "You've been acting so funny lately…Dad thinks you're on drugs."

"What?! Why? Why would he think that?!" You sputter weakly and Tracy laughs.

"Because he's dad and you're you." She points out and when she says it like that, its hard to know what she means.

"Whatever."

"Will you tell me? Ya know, who your mystery date is?" She asks and you meet her gaze evenly. You never thought that you and Tracy had that sorta relationship. Everything has always been competition and pride and praise but maybe you're wrong. Maybe you guys have the capacity to be more than a struggle for your fathers affections. "Not like, right now, because I see you've got a whole secret relationship thing going on but …eventually?"

"Yeah…Eventually." You say honest and Tracy smiles widely and looks just like your mother. "So, how do I look?"

You smooth your hands down the front of your dress and Tracy nods, flicking her fingers through your hair one last time. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks Trace." You sigh, giving her a lingering hug before darting out of the bathroom.

/

"I'm nervous." You hiss as soon as the front door opens and HG is looking at you in what you hope is awe while you shift from foot to foot anxiously. "My-my hands are sweating so much!"

"You look stunning." She says loudly and you glance down at yourself, blushing dumbly and lifting your shoulder in a shrug. "You wore a dress."

"I mean, it's a special occasion and I wanted to look nice so…" You blurt, touching your hair anxiously. "It-its not too much is it? Tracy helped me pick it out."

"Darling, you look stunning." She says again, stepping out onto the porch with you. "And there's no need to be nervous. We're simply having dinner."

"With your family." You finish for her when it sounds like she wont do it. "I'm meeting your family and I want them to like me."

"Myka, they will absolutely adore you." She says firmly. "And even if, for some reason they do not, it won't matter in the least because _I_ adore you."

Her words soothe some of the nerves in your belly and you nod, smiling at her. "Look at you, all soft and mushy."

HG rolls her eyes at you before stepping close and kissing you firmly on the lips. "Now, come along. Lets get this over with."

"I told Pete." You blurt suddenly and HG pauses, eyes searching your face in surprise. "I told Pete about me and you and he took it surprisingly well."

"And he's okay?" She asks tentatively and you nod.

"A little confused but fine."

You're grinning like an idiot under the porch light and HG smiles slowly. "And you're okay?"

"I'm great. Everyone's okay. The world didn't fall apart." You say honestly, then HG is kissing you again with her front door open and far less chaste than the last time.

"I want to discuss this further." HG murmurs, pulling back with your lipstick on her mouth and your hands grasping at her hips. "later."

"Okay." You swallow blearily, licking your lips as HG steps away. "But dinner first?"

"Right." HG nods, taking your hand and tugging you over the threshold.


	8. Chapter 8

"Pete!" You hiss into the phone when he finally picks up after what feels like forever.

"Myka? What's going on?" He answers distractedly, a video game screaming in the background while you pace the floor of the ridiculously fancy bathroom you've taken refuge in. The room smells like vanilla and all the soap is shaped like sea shells. "I thought you were meeting HG's family tonight. Is everything going okay?"

"Yes. No. I don't know!" You groan, leaning over the sink and blinking at your wild eyed reflection.

"Talk to me, Mykes. What's going on? Did her uncle indecent proposal you? Do I need to kick some British ass?" He asks, all background noise going silent and you roll your eyes, turning on the faucet to make it seem like you're actually using the facilities instead of just having a miniature mental breakdown.

"What? No! Of course not! I-I mean, we talked about school and my-my fencing…"

"Great! Those are the things you're best at!" Pete yelps helpfully and you nod, running your hand through your hair. "I bet they're loving you. They're probably all like…That young woman is quite lovely, indeed. Pip pip! Cheerio! I'll have another spot of tea."

You wince at the awful accent Pete slips into before turning off the water and turning to sit on the closed toilet lid. "I just, I just really want to impress them, ya know? And they're very British so it's a little hard to tell if-if I'm succeeding or…"

"Dude, you really like her." Pete interrupts you and you pause to laminate how little justice his assessment does what you've come to feel for HG in just a few months. "Don't you."

"I do." Is all you sigh, resting your elbows on your knees. "I do."

"Okay. Okay. Hey hey hey! I have an idea but it's a little unconventional so hear me out. Why don't I come over there, pretend I'm a robber and do a fake B&E and then you can swoop in and kick my butt a little. Hit me with that infamous haymaker. You'll save the day then… boom, you're a hero and those Brits are gonna love you without a doubt." He offers and you nod.

"Okay. Okay. That might work." You mutter, standing and pacing again. "I just…"

"Myka, listen to me. I know you and I'm one thousand percent certain that you're already making HG's aunt and uncle fall incredibly, unstoppably in love with you. But, if you want I will dig out my ski mask and go smash in a couple of windows for you. All I ask is that you just try not to donkey kick me in the face, its my most valuable asset."

You stop walking back and forth as the realization of how ridiculous you're being and how ridiculous your best friend is willing to be, sinks in.

"I'm being crazy." You sigh and Pete chuckles a little on the line.

"Just a little." He says. "This may seem kinda cliché or whatever but just be yourself, Myka. You're never more incredible than when you're being yourself."

"That is cliché." You sigh but he's also right. "But thanks, Pete. You're kind of awesome."

"I know this! Where are you, anyway?" Pete asks and you can hear him moving around on the other line before the sound of gunfire and artificial war swells in the background.

"I'm hiding in the bathroom."

"Dude, you're in the bathroom?" Pete asks sharply, "They're gonna think you're pooping! Get outta there!"

"Oh my god, I have to go." You hiss before hanging up your cell phone. You take one last look in the mirror, smoothing down your dress before throwing open the door.

Of course, HG is leaning casually against the wall opposite the bathroom door and you yelp in surprise.

"Oh! Hey. What's, uh, what's up?" You squeak and she smirks at you while you fidget.

"Everything okay in there?" HG wonders, peeking passed you into the bathroom before giving you a full smile and you blush deeply, "Did Pete have any helpful advice? Assuming that's who you snuck away to call."

"Uhm yeah, he did." You say and Helena nods.

"Am I correct to assume its of the 'Be Yourself' variety?" HG asks, hands clasped in front of her. "Just a guess."

"How did you?... Yeah, something like that." You mutter. "…Look, I'm just really nervous and-and I guess I needed some reassurance that I'm not a total spaz…I mean, Your uncle asked me about mathletes and I prattled on forever."

"I think its adorable," She murmurs, "When you ramble that way. Your eyes light up and your mouth becomes clumsy because you're so excited about what you're talking about."

"HG." You say even as you blush again, blood heating your face and you reach back to rub at the back of your neck.

"You needn't be concerned, you know. They already adore you." HG points out helpfully while you stand in the doorway of the bathroom and she rest nonchalantly against the wall across the narrow corridor. "You practically stole their hearts when you went on and on about the flaws in the American educational system."

Relief washes over you and you can feel a dorky grin taking over your face. "Yeah?"

HG only rolls her eyes before pushing away from the wall and closing the short distance between the two of you. One hand comes up to play with the ends of your hair, curling the coil around her index finger while she gazes at you with her dreamy eyes.

"Don't let their English disposition fool you. They think you're wonderful." She whispers and you feel kinda silly but also warm where HG's front is pressed to yours. "Now, come along back to dinner. I've told them that you've plans to travel after you graduate and they're eager to entertain you with stories of their own travels."

You nod even as feelings, soft and tender and giddy, well up inside of you in a way that makes your heart pound suddenly. She takes your hand easily before turning and tugging you back towards the dining room and in those few steps the magnitude of what you feel for HG hits you like a sledge hammer.

It's a complete mishmash of feelings that are tornadoing around inside of you unlike anything you've felt before. It's not like when you were with Sam, not really, because what you felt for him was warm and easy with his hand clasped around yours and his contagious smile. This is something that burns you and wraps you up like it wants to strangle you while HG looks at you like you're the most interesting thing she's ever stumbled upon.

In fact, that's kind of how she's staring at you now while the two of you slide back into your seat at the dinner table, hands separated but bodies side by side. Her hand finds your leg underneath the tablecloth and your fingers fumble to squeeze her hand while her aunt and uncle are argue over exactly how many genetic relatives they share with the Queen of England.

"Are you alright?" She asks quietly, dark eyes curious and soft while she palms your knee and there's that feeling again, wildly out of control as it bangs around behind your ribs. You wonder if she knows what she's doing to you, if she knows she makes waves when you've never ever been anything but calm stillness. You wonder if she's doing it on purpose or if its something she can't control and you're just another fool in a long line of fools, fawning stupidly over her until she moves on and leaves your heartbroken body behind.

"I'm okay." You mutter, dropping your chin just a little because a blush is lighting up your cheeks and you pick up your fork, stuffing potatoes into your mouth.

HG has said that she's falling for you but you don't know if that actually means she's just falling under the spell of your admittedly awkward charms or it means that there's a corresponding chaos going on inside of her body and it's caused by you.

HG's hand squeezes your thigh one more time before drifting away, or at least trying to but you grip her hand tightly under the table.

"So, Myka, Helena has told us that you're quite the literati." Her aunt says, all composed and elegant and that has to be genetic or something. "What is your favorite novel? Emma?"

"Jane Austin? No, I'm sorry but that book is so…so overrated." You blurt as politely as you can and the nervousness about your shoulders eases away when everyone at the table laughs good naturedly.

"I'm in total agreement, young lady." HG's uncle chuckles, adjusting his thick glasses and when you glance at HG, her fingers are curled tightly around yours, she's absolutely beaming.

/

"Pete." you start quietly, glancing over your shoulder where Pete is standing, a book-filled box in his arms and a grimace furrowing his brow. "I need to ask you something."

You set another book in the box, looking at him over the cardboard before turning to continue clearing off the display shelf.

Your dad is picking up a new shipment of books this afternoon and he'd insisted that you make room on a couple of shelves in the front of the store even though it wasn't your day to work the shop and Tracy was doing absolutely nothing.

You'd asked Pete to help and smiled sweetly at your father where he stood behind the front desk glaring from you to Pete and back again before leaving for the post office. "Shoot."

"Have you, uh…" You clear your throat, attempting to gather all of the thoughts that have been swirling around your skull since dinner at Helena's. You've never been great at putting words to feelings and now is no different. "I mean, have you ever…ya know, been in love with a girl?"

"Naw, not really. I mean, there was Deanna Torres but she had lice, ya know, and I wasn't mentally prepared to…to…" Pete trails off and when you glance at him again his face is twisted up in suspicion. "Wait, why're you asking me that?"

Your shrug nervously, dropping more books into the box and Pete grunts at the added weight before following you to the next aisle. "I'm just making conversation."

"People don't usually start friendly chats like that." Pete points out and you roll your eyes and stack a few more books in the box . "Are you asking because you think you might be…"

"Pete, I don't…" You sigh, mentally grasping for a way to describe what you're feeling but you come up empty. You let out a frustrated breath, scooping up more books and dropping them heavily into the box. Pete staggers a little but stays otherwise upright.

"Oh, I know! We're about to have a moment, huh? Here." Pete turns around, presenting you his back and you can't help but laugh. "Okay, go ahead. Tell me what's going on."

"She makes me feel…things." You finally say vaguely.

Pete nods solemnly, as you kneel to gather up more hardbacks from the bottom shelf. "Things…Tingly things or…"

"Definitely tingly things…" you grunt, pausing to look up at the back of his head. "Tingly things that wrap around my spine and creep into my-my nerves and my veins and-and my brain until she's all I feel and all I think about."

"Oh, wow. That sounds …." He says after a moment and you nod, cradling the novels before standing. "That sounds pretty serious."

"Also, she has a kid. I never told you that, but she does." You blurt and when Pete whirls around you drop the books into the box.

"What?!" He yelps just as the bottom of the cardboard box gives out and you swear and wince as books hit the ground.

"Damn it." you grunt, falling to your knees again and Pete does the same, discarding the carton and helping you stack the books on the floor.

"Dude, you're gonna be a daddy?!" He hisses loudly and you stop gathering books long enough to shove him.

"No! I don't know!" You cry, hurriedly organizing the pile of novels. "I-I just don't know. She-she has a daughter, this beautiful little girl, back in England and its…"

"So, you're telling me that you're possibly in love with someone's mom."

"I don't know. Maybe." You say, "And it sounds really weird when-when you phrase it like that."

He's silent for a long moment and you busy yourself with stacking the fallen books.

"If I remember correctly, you and Sam were pretty in love. You know, flowers and candy, the whole disgustingly cute nine-yards." Pete points out and you sigh, closing a copy of Dracula by Bram Stoker gingerly and setting it on the ground.

"I wasn't…I don't know if it was love with Sam but this doesn't feel the same." You admit, twisting to sit on your butt and leaning back against the shelf.

"Yeah?" Pete grunts, shifting to sit next to you. "Then what does it feel like?"

"It feels like…" you sigh, pushing your hair out of your face and avoiding Pete's curious gaze. "It feels like something I want to say to her. It feels like something I want her to say back."

Pete only nods, toeing at a copy of As I Lay Dying. "So why don't you? Just say it, I mean?"

"What if she doesn't say it back?" You exhale, glancing at Pete tentatively. "What if I make a fool of myself because HG is the girl that always has people falling at her feet and I'm just another idiot kissing her boots?"

"Mykes, c'mon." Pete chuckles and you flush. "HG is definitely the type to have people tripping all over themselves to make her happy."

"Peeete." You groan loudly, dropping your head back against the bookcase with a muffled thump. "Great."

"But, she's also the type to not bother with people she's not interested in. She's not the type to ask just anyone to have dinner with the family." He points out and you know he's right. Helena is a lot of things but uncertain doesn't seem to be one of them.

"You're good enough, Myka." Pete says, nudging your shoulder with his. "You're more than good enough for her so, ya know, be brave."

You nod a little, pushing your hair away from your face. "Okay."

Pete watches you silently for a long moment before speaking. "Since we're on the topic of hot moms, I think its only fair that I admit I've been crushing on your mom pretty hard since, like, the fourth grade."

/

Fingertips smoothing over your hairline draw you towards the edge of a deep, warm sleep. You frown and exhale, opening your eyes enough to see HG stretched out on her stomach beside you, her fingers tracing over your features idly. Elusive dreams dance along the edge of your consciousness and you let them drift away in favor of gazing up at HG.

The two of you are closed up in the bookstore attic, the setting sun pouring orange and pink through the sole window and the atmosphere warm and cozy. You're exhausted, a week of mathlete stuff and fencing competitions, both of which HG insisted on accompanying you to, combined with school and few hours at the bookstore for your father, have left you worn out.

You smile drowsily at HG, wondering idly if she finished the writing she'd been doing before your eyes had become too heavy to keep open. And this isn't a date or anything but you still feel a little bit of embarrassment at falling asleep in front of HG the way you have. You're pretty sure that little bit of embarrassment would be full blown mortification if you weren't so tired.

"I'm sorry." You mumble, turning your head to kiss her hand before turning onto your side and curling into the warmth of her body.

"It's fine. You're so weary." HG chuckles softly while she traces down your cheek, then your lips. You think she's going to kiss you, that you want her to, but her fingers drop to your neck and exhaustion is pulling you back into a shallow sleep.

You dream quick and faint and obscure but you drift awake at the soft tones of HG's voice and you blink up at her uncomprehendingly, your face hidden against her shoulder.

"….you know that don't you? You must." She finishes quietly and you swallow thickly even as HG runs her hand carefully through your hair.

"What?" You slur and HG smiles fondly, running a fingertip along your hairline to your ear.

She doesn't say anything, so you stretch onto your back just as she leans down to kiss your bottom lip and you reach up, touch her throat and press your mouth to hers properly. It begins innocently enough but soon HG is half on top of you while her tongue slips into your mouth purposefully.

Her hand inches under your shirt, palm making circles against your stomach idly before sliding up to touch your breast. She licks her way into your mouth while she worms her way under the material of your bra and when you moan she pulls away to kiss your forehead.

"I want you so badly." She admits quietly, thumb tracing circles over you and you nod as goosebumps race across your skin.

"I want you too." You murmur and you think there could be a 'but' after that. 'But' we shouldn't or 'but' this isn't the right time or place except none of those things feel true.

HG takes that for the invite that it is, pulling back silently only to begin fumbling with the buttons on your shirt. You close your eyes, let yourself feel HG's weight as she slides all the way on top of you.

"Helena." You breathe out heavily as she parts the sides of your shirt and she glances up at you with dark eyes that make you breathe in shakily. The last time you were in this position there was alcohol involved and you were terrified of the way you felt.

Now you just feel happy.

Her head dips, mouth opening against your stomach and she smiles against your skin when you jump and shift, your fingers carding through the dark strands of her hair lazily.

"God, you're so gorgeous." You whisper earnestly as she mouths her way down your belly until she's hovering over the waist of your jeans and your heart is pounding. She slides your belt apart easily, eyes turned up towards you before shifting upwards so she's hovering over you, devastatingly beautiful.

"As are you. So very lovely." She murmurs, hair falling around you like a curtain. "Kiss me?"

You do as she asks even as you blush at her words, pulling on her shoulder and kissing her until she's melting on top of you. Your movements are sluggish and uncoordinated but HG doesn't seem to mind, she just moans quietly while you taste the inside of her mouth.

When she eases away you inhale deeply, taking a sobering breath as she drifts down your torso and nervousness edges its way under your skin. This is your first time together, really together and not over the clothes fumbling, since your original first time but there's way more feelings involved as well as way less alcohol this time around and…you're just nervous.

"Relax for me, darling." HG murmurs, pressing a kiss to your sternum and she can probably taste your fluttering heartbeat.

"Okay." You swallow, looking down at her and the sight is dizzying but you don't look away and neither does she as her fingers find the fly of your jeans while she sucks bruising marks against your hip.

You can't help but laugh as she fights your jeans down and off and she rolls her eyes as she throws them aside before pressing a kiss to your pressed together knees and looking up at you, hands palming your knees for a moment before sliding down the outside of your thighs to play innocuously with the band of your underwear.

"Open for me." She murmurs against your skin looking soft and eager and you lick your lips as desire swells breathtakingly inside of you.

Your legs spread thoughtlessly because, really, how can you deny her when she says things like that. Helena sighs like you did something right, hooking her fingers in the sides of your underwear and pulling downward until she can see all of you and your stomach is twisting into slippery, hot knots of anticipation.

"Goodness, you're beautiful all over, aren't you?" She murmurs and you feel yourself flush even as her eyes dart to yours while she trails kisses up the inside of your thigh that have your entire body is shaking in anticipation.

"Oh my god." The words tumble from your mouth as her head dips forward slowly, hands grasping at your waist while you shudder helplessly. "Oh my god."

You breathe hard as she presses forward, urging your legs wide with her shoulders. A broken, choked sound rattles past your lips and your hands move to claw at the edge of the bed while your hips cant unsteadily against the soft heat of her mouth.

This, like everything else you've ever associated with HG, is so, so much. Its so much tension and heat and sensation that it feels like all the important parts of you are melting for her. And then you're melting for her, with your thighs shaking and muscles coiled with energy twisting white hot around your spine until you come apart.

"Shhh. Shhh." HG shushes gently, stretched out over while you shudder helplessly, eyes fluttering backwards and her utterly counterproductive hand diving between your thighs to work every last quake and gasp from your body. "Shhh."

You bury your face against her neck to muffle the broken keening sound you can't seem to stop in this moment because your mom is downstairs running the shop this afternoon and she has no idea the two of you are up here. You're pretty sure she definitely wouldn't approve of the two of you being up here doing this.

HG laughs when your body finally goes limp while you attempt to deal with the tingling in your muscles. Her hand coming to rest against your hip and you kiss her hard before muttering, "Take your clothes off."

She sits up and you do the same, watching slack-jawed as she does as you asked until there's only endless pale skin laid out in front of you.

You take a breath then trace the freckles at the top of her chest before leaning forward to kiss the smooth line of her throat and the ledge of her clavicle. You feel her breathing turn heavy, a hand easing into your hair as you drop a kiss against her sternum. When you glance up at her she's watching you intensely, lips parted and eyes dark and when you tilt your head to take her breast into your mouth, the hand in your hair goes tight and she gasps so sharply.

You drag your hands over her thighs slowly before scratching across her belly and she trembles a little and swallows hard.

"I'm so ready for you it's embarrassing." She murmurs, both hands fisted in your hair and forehead resting against yours.

"Just tell me what to do, okay?" You say nervously, glancing at her face before dropping your eyes to watch your fingers as you let your hand drift downwards. "Because I…"

"At this point, there's very little you could do that wouldn't make me…" Her words trail off into a breathless whimper as your fingers come into contact with slick heat…

/

It's the last football game of the season and by some miracle your school isn't getting its butt kicked. In fact, it's a pretty close game and the fans are vibrating with energy in the stands as if the team were playing for a trophy or a playoff spot and not the first and only win of the season.

Helena is beside you in the stuffed bleachers, warm and buzzing with excitement. Her grasp on American football is still fairly tentative but she's completely engrossed in the game, standing and cheering or booing with the rest of the crowd whenever applicable.

You're watching her far more than you are the game and you know that she's noticed.

"Everything okay?" She asks, dropping to the bench beside you after a particularly rousing course of boos aimed at a referee for making a bad call on a play and you just blush a nod.

"You look pretty." You murmur and she looks at you quizzically, dark hair fluttering about her face, before giving your hand a squeeze where it rests between you and her on the bench.

"And you're lovely as always." Helena responds. "Are you sure you're alright? Are you feeling ill? I could take you home."

"I'm fine. I'm fine." You laugh and she gives you a careful look before focusing on the game again. You find yourself staring at her profile, at the curve of her ear and the beautiful line of her jaw and affection churns gentle and steady in your belly.

"I love you." You say quietly, the words floating free without your permission and she shouldn't be able to hear you as the crowd chooses that exact moment to surge to its feet with a roaring cheer but somehow your words must reach her ears because she turns to look at you as if your voice was the only one speaking in this moment.

"What?" She asks slowly even as the crowd continue to stand, people towering over you like trees while they applaud and you feel your eyes widen and your heart pound. "What did you just…?"

"I, uhm…" You choke out and you remember that you're brave and you're good enough. You lean a little closer to her, so your knee is touching hers and speak strong and clear. "I love you."

It takes her a moment to react, there's only dark eyes searching your face and unfathomable panic surging through your chest after the words leave your lips a second time but then her hand is fumbling to grab yours so tightly. She doesn't say anything, just laughs so brightly that the anxiety crackling along your nervous system eases away.

"Is-is that okay? Or…" You start dumbly and HG is still laughing and clasping onto your hand as the crowd sits around the two of you.

"I should hope so." She finally says, beaming at you and you can feel your mouth turning up into a crooked smile. "Considering how hopelessly in love I am with you."

/

"Have you thought about what happens next?" Pete asks, leaning back on his hands in the green grass and squinting up at you while you wield your fencing saber lazily across his backyard.

"What do you mean, next? Like…" You trail off, doing a move around Pete and your saber whistles quietly as it cuts through the air.

"Like after this year." Pete clarifies with a grunt, falling backwards as the capped end of your sword pokes him in the chest. "I mean, next year is our senior year but HG is graduating this year. Is she going to college in 'Merica or does she plan on heading back across the pond and going to school in grand old England? What about her daughter? Like, are you guys gonna do the long distance thing?"

You would be lying if you said you hadn't thought about any of this stuff just a little but its been hard to dwell on it while you're actually happy.

"I'm not…I'm not sure what's going to happen." You say, raising your saber and resting it against your shoulder. Your stomach feels weird now and you press your hand there absently. You know you don't want HG to leave but you're not stupid and you also know that the odds aren't necessarily in your favor. You think of little Christina, halfway across the world without her mother and you feel sick.

"Hey. Hey. Hey." Pete calls, grabbing your attention as well as your hand and you look down at him helplessly. "Come lie down with me."

You do, stretching out side by side in the plush grass like you've done so many times before. "Pete…"

"There's time, Mykes. There's still half a school year and the entire summer, okay? There'll be time to worry about all that stuff I said later, okay? It was stupid to bring it up. I'm sorry."

"No, Pete. It's-It's all-" You try, blinking up at the blue sky and biting your lip while your stomach swims nauseatingly.

"Myka." Pete interrupts your train of thought, turning to look at you and you look back. "I haven't seen you this happy in a long time."

"I know." You say quietly, watching his mouth quirk up in the corners just a bit.

"So, just be happy." He says, "Please?"

You nod a little and when his hand skims across the grass to hold yours, you hang on tight.


	9. Chapter 9

You think there is something weirdly intimate about someone else wearing your clothes. Like, its another person's body wrapped in something that's only every carried your scent and your warmth and when you get it back it will have them all over it.

"That's mine." You say, flopping down on her bed and watching HG's hands disappear into the sleeves of your sweatshirt, burrowing into the cotton after depositing a stack of textbooks onto her cluttered desk and she smirks at you sitting cross-legged in the middle of her bed with your sneakers still on because you know she hates it. "My sweatshirt. Am I ever gonna get it back?"

"I am quite fond of it so it seems unlikely." She sighs, gazing down at the crossed sabers on the front before sitting at the foot of her bed and you grin at her while she presses the sleeves to her nose for a moment. "It smells of you and I like to imagine I'm falling asleep with my nose tucked against your neck."

Then she is reaching out to tug at your shoelace and you unfold your long legs with a sigh, leaning back on your hands while she fights with your shoes, pulling them off and throwing them to the floor before peeling off your socks.

"Hey." You protest half heartedly and HG rolls her eyes at you while you wiggle your naked toes.

"I'm simply proving that you were not, in fact, raised in some sort of barn." HG says squeezing your ankle once before letting warm fingers creep under the leg of your jeans. "Now, should I bother to ask what has brought you here in the middle of the night?"

"Besides my sweatshirt?" You question with a grin and she rolls her eyes again.

"Yes, besides this ratty old sweatshirt that I'm nearly certain you no longer even wear." HG says before moving smoothly up the bed to straddle your legs. Her hands plant near your hips and her knees on either side of yours so she's staring into your eyes. "Your father is going to kill you for being out and I simply don't know how I feel about being the girlfriend to a corpse."

You shrug a little, gazing up at her helplessly because you don't know how to tell her that you're taking Pete's advice the best you can and living in the moment because too soon she will be leaving. She has already been accepted to every prestigious school she's applied to and you hate to think about her leaving you behind.

"I just needed to see you, I guess." You offer, pressing your forehead to her shoulder while both of her hands tangle in the curls of your hair. "Do you want me to leave?"

"Well, you've already gone through all the trouble of sneaking out." HG sighs, pressing a kiss to your head before tugging on your hair and forcing you to look up at her again while you wrap your arms around her waist. "Myka?"

"Helena?" You grin up at her and she drops a kiss against your mouth like she's helpless to do anything else, her thumb tracing over your ear absently.

"I want to stay here, I think?" HG breathes and you frown in confusion.

"Sure. It's the middle of the night so I don't think its even safe-" Helena's fingers against your lips shut you up and you arch an eyebrow while she laughs sweetly.

"I mean," She chuckles, dropping her hand away. "After graduation. I want to spend the long summer days watching your legs tan and listening to you laugh. Then, I will attend the local university. Their engineering program is more than respectable and maybe I could….I could send for Christina? And you and I could remain together."

"Yes." You blurt dumbly, heart absolutely pounding in your chest as HG unintentionally eases all the fears you'd been working at suppressing and its nearly dizzying how relieved you feel. "Yes. I want all of that."

You kiss her eagerly and HG laughs into your mouth before kissing you back.

"I love you. Like, I really do." You murmur and HG gazes down at you so affectionately that your insides flutter before kissing you again.

* * *

"So, she's staying then?" Pete asks, head buried under the hood of his car and when he reaches blindly towards you, you hand him a socket wrench. You lean against the side of his truck, the sounds of him working filling his mom's garage.

"Yeah." You sigh dreamily, blushing when Pete chuckles loudly, handing back the socket wrench and you take, dropping it into the toolbox and handing him a screwdriver when he asks for it. "She's going to go to school out here and send for her daughter."

"Yeah? That's great, Mykes. You guy are gonna be one big happy family?" He asks pulling his head free and waggling his eyebrows at you. You roll your eyes and try not to blush, reaching out to wipe at the oil streaked across his chin.

"Shut up, Pete. It's not like that." You huff even though it is kind of like that. "I'm just a little nervous. Like, what if Christina doesn't like me?"

"Mykes, you're a rock star. Of course the kid is going to like you. You're you." Pete says easily, like he just knows and you watch him pull a part out of the engine, eyeing it like he has no idea what it is or what it does. "Anyway, are you sure you're ready for something like that?"

You shrug a little. "I don't know but I'm not afraid to try."

"There's my Brave Little Toaster." Pete coos and you shake your head at him.

"You know, Amanda has been watching you a lot lately." You murmur and Pete whips around to gape at you and you shrug. Your sister admitted that, much to her horror, her friend Amanda was totally into Pete and it was your job to help make the love connection. Amanda is smart and pretty and probably really good for Pete so it's the least you can do. "Trace says she likes you."

"Oh, yeah she does!" Pete gloats, puffing out his chest before fumbling the engine piece.

"Is that a carburetor?" You wonder and Pete shrugs.

"I have no idea."

* * *

"So, another sleep over?" You ask, picking up Claudia's stuff from around the Donovan's living room and while HG watches from the hallway, having just returned from successfully tucking Claudia in for the fourth time tonight.

Pete had ungracefully bowed out of babysitting, ditching you in favor of going out with Amanda and HG had been unbelievably easy to convince to help watch Claudia.

"Yes, it seems your sister is quite fond of these ritualistic female bonding practices." HG mutters and you grin at her, tossing a stuffed turtle at her which she catches and holds against her chest while you scoop up one red sneaker. "Will you at least be there to make the entire thing palatable?"

"Oh please, as if you don't like cheesy movies and taking turns painting each others nails." You laugh, sliding past HG to get to the hall closet designated for all of Claudia's odds and ends. You dump it all inside and stand to find HG behind you, too close and way too smug.

"But you will be there, wont you? Even if you don't participate in the festivities?"

"Maybe." you laugh, turning to head back towards the living room but two hands at your waist stop you and you let HG nudge you up against the wall, laughing quietly and giving a nervous glance towards Claudia's bedroom.

"Maybe?" HG breathes, kissing your chin then your neck and you shake your head at her antics even as goosebumps erupt along your skin. "Perhaps I can sneak away from the sleepover. Steal away in your bed for a while. I can be very quiet."

"Now, that is a lie." You scoff and HG makes an indignant noise.

"Nonsense, you are by far more vocal." HG argues and you roll your eyes. "Perhaps I should prove my point."

You let her kiss you, her mouth surprisingly hungry against yours and the whimpering that pulls from your throat when she ends the blistering kiss, makes her chuckle.

Your shoulders press back against the wall paper as HG drags your hips forward towards her with fingers hooked in your belt.

Her hair is in her face and her mouth is red and your heart is pounding as she thumbs the shiny buckle of your belt. She looks at you when you push her hair out of her eyes, gaze moving from your face to the other side of the darkened hall and back again indecisively.

You know its the heat scorching its way through your veins and making you feel drunk and eager is what makes you whisper her name. It comes out rough and pleading and her dark eyes snap to you, lingering at your lips before she leans forward to press her mouth to your throat. Your breathing hitches as you tug her to stand between your legs, twisting to catch her in a kiss.

You bite down on her bottom lip and _tug _and she groans before fumbling with your belt.

The leather parts just as the hall light turns on.

"Impeccable timing, I swear it." HG groans pulling back before you push her away lightly and you quickly tug your belt back through the buckle before turning to face an open-mouthed Claudia.

"Claud-" you start but mortification cuts you off with a choked noise.

"Uhm, this isn't what it looks like?" HG offers half heartedly, pulling the back of her hand across her mouth and Claudia's gape turns incredulous.

"It looked like you guys were trying to, like, eat each other." Claudia points out, making chomping gestures with her hands but your mind goes to a very inappropriate place at her words.

You can feel HG's eyes on you as you flush _bright _red and when you glance at her, she's smirking.

"Yes, well then it was exactly what it looked like." HG concedes and you give her a withering glare.

"Claudia." You try again but HG cuts you off.

"Claudia, sometimes girls like other girls in the way that society deems they should like boys…" HG starts easily and you blush so hard that you're nearly positive that you're going to just loose consciousness.

"I know what lesbians are." Claudia scoffs indignantly and you clutch at the wall to stay upright.

"Oh my god." You breathe, bowing your head and HG makes a soft noise, stepping up to press a palm to your flaming cheek.

"So...lesbianism." Claudia starts, thin arms folded over her chest. "I get it. So when you said Pete wasn't your type you were probably referring to his boy parts."

"Amongst other things." HG offers with a shrug that makes you want to kill her. "Darling, Myka and I are dating and we'd intended to keep it a bit of a secret."

"Really?" Claudia says, face screwing up in confusion.

"My-my dad…" you blurt but HG tucks hair behind your ear and cuts off what was sure to be something rambling and awkward.

"We just prefer to remain private and while Pete is already aware of the situation we'd like it if you could keep this to yourself."

"C'mon guys. You can trust me. I won't tell anyone. Because Myka's been all smiley lately and its probably because of you."

"That's very nice of you." HG smiles. "And as a show of gratitude I'm sure we can work out some sort of schedule for you and I to spend sometime together upgrading your tree house."

"That would be awesome." Claudia beams. "I'm just gonna go get some water and then you guys can continue making out. You won't even notice I'm here."

With that, Claudia tiptoes towards the kitchen like some sort of cartoon character and you watch her disappear before dropping looking at HG who is smiling softly.

"Well, that was only mildly mortifying." she offers quietly and you can't help but laugh

"I'm gonna puke." You say as HG pulls you into a hug, hand coming up to rub between your shoulder blades while you press your forehead to HG's neck. "And you just bribed a child."

"I've been accused of worst things, honestly." HG laughs quietly before dropping a kiss on the back of your head.

* * *

You and your sister have never been all that close.

For as long as you can remember its always been a contest, a rivalry between the two of you and sometimes you don't even think you guys are capable of anything more.

That doesn't mean you don't wish you could.

"Trace, can I talk to you?" You ask, knocking on her bedroom door and Tracy looks up from her desk where she is doing homework, her expression already slipping into irritation. "It's kind of important."

"Okay." Tracy sighs, closing her book as you slip into her room, shutting the door behind yourself and trapping the two of you in her upsettingly girly room.

And you've imagined how this could play out. You've imagined your sister laughing at you. Calling you disgusting. Running and telling your parents. Whatever is playing out across your face startles your sister because her irritation drops away and now she only looks concerned.

"Mykes, what is it? You're being weird." She says and you take a deep, steadying breath. You don't have to do this and you know you could continuing to keep this secret but this beautiful thing you have with HG is getting heavy and as much as Pete is there for you, you think this might be sibling territory. "Myka."

"Remember, when we went dress shopping?" You start tentatively, swallowing down your nerves and Tracy nods.

"You're finally ready to tell me who your mystery date is?" Tracy lights up, leaning forward in her chair eagerly.

"It's was HG. Helena…we're dating." You blurt helplessly and Tracy rocks back in her seat like you just punched her. "She and I…we're dating. I'm kinda gay…."

And you're nearly positive you could've finessed this whole coming out thing a lot better than what just came flying out of your mouth.

"Oh." Your sister exhales and you can tell she was not expecting anything like this. "Oh."

"Yeah." You swallow, squeezing your sweaty hands into fists at your sides. "Sorry."

"Sorry?" Tracy huffs, frowning at you and you close your eyes tightly. "What are you sorry for?"

"For-for…" You try but before you can say anything your sister is pulling you into a hug.

"God, you're so dumb sometimes." She whispers in your ear and you sag against her. "Don't be sorry for falling for someone."

"Thank you." You breathe, wrapping your arms around your sister and she tightens her hold on you.

"Thank you for telling me." Tracy whispers before pulling back to look you in the eye. "You could've told me sooner, Mykes. Then I would've done a better job of convincing Mom and Dad that you're not on drugs."

"Can-can you not tell Mom or, god, especially Dad about this?" You plead and your sister nods.

"Sure thing." She sighs, her fingers reaching up to attempt to tame your hair and you bat her hands away with a laugh. "But tell HG that she and I need to have a talk."

"Oh no." You sigh and Tracy nods.

"Oh yes."

* * *

You laugh when you find HG draped across your bed, shutting your bedroom door and dropping your bag on the floor.

"Darling, I thought you'd never return." she coos and you roll your eyes at her antics.

"HG, what're you doing up here? You're supposed to be sleepover-ing." You sigh and HG sits up on her elbows to watch you move around your room.

"You're sister invited me over early and gave me quite a stern talking to about my intentions with her younger sister." HG murmurs. "Then informed me that you'd be home soon and would probably welcome my company though I would be sorely missed at the sleep over."

"I warned you about her." You say and HG sits up fully, throwing her legs over the side of your bed.

"You did and while I'm glad that you felt comfortable enough to inform your sister of your relationship, now I question if it would be worth the possibe loss of limbs Tracy suggested should I hurt you."

"Trace, said that?" You grin thoughtfully and HG nods.

"Threatened other awful things as well." HG sighs and you take pity on her, moving closer to her. "She can be rather terrifying."

"I'm sure you're deeply traumatized." You whisper, stepping towards her slowly and HG bites her lip, watching you ease closer to her until she has to drop her head back a little to gaze up at you and her hands curl around your waist, pulling you to stand between her legs.

"Myka, I will never hurt you but perhaps you could find a way to ease the fear your sister seems to have struck within me.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" you hum and HG nods, while you reaching out to run your fingers through her hair.

"I would." She admits quietly but then there's an explosion of girlish giggles downstairs and you roll your eyes.

"But…"

"No, no, no…" HG laughs, pressing a kiss to your stomach through your tee shirt. "No buts. Let me demonstrate the truly _scandalous _thoughts I've had concerning you while I was to be fawning over boys."

You swallow hard as she pulls you down onto her lap, hands clutching just below you behind and you hold onto her shoulders tightly.

"I just came from practice. I'm all sweaty." You inform her softly and HG just licks her lips, tugs you closer still, hands crawling up your back and under your sports bra, fingertips against your spine.

"I won't be deterred by a little perspiration." HG just sighs right before leaning forward to lick a slow stripe right up your neck, ending with a sharp nip at your chin and you make the most embarrassing squeaking sound.

"I don't have a lock on my door." You swallow, gazing down at her and the pad of your thumb brushing over her perfect lips absently. "Anyone could just walk in…My dad will barge in if he hears any strange noises."

"I can be quite quiet. Can you? " HG grins teasingly, biting at your thumb and you let her teeth sink into the flesh.

You nod absently before leaning forward and kissing her, pulling your thumb from her mouth before pressing your tongue into the space.

HG lets you, pressing her hips up into yours, keeping your mouth against hers.

"This is a bad idea." You pant, pulling away to stare down at HG, her hair messed up from your fingers.

"I don't care." HG taunts but her eyes are dark and her mouth is serious as you settle better in the cradle of her hips, dropping your hands to finger the collar of her blouse. "Don't you want me?"

"I do." You swallow thickly, her hands adjusting to grab your ass. You kiss her once before straightening to fight with the belt on HG's pants, followed by the button and zipper of her pants and when you glance at her, breathless and successful she gives you a dazzling grin.

Your hands are shaking and your pulse is pounding and HG hooks her fingers in the elastic of your sports bra, tugging you forward and kissing you before breathing. "Go on, then."

And really, its all the motivation you need.

She arches an eyebrow that's all challenge as you sit up on your knees so you're hovering over her, wriggling your hand past the waistband of her jeans while she spread her legs beneath you.

"You are so amazing." She murmurs, leaning back on her hands and peering up at you with hooded eyes, it makes you feel inexplicably powerful as your fingers slip against wet heat.

There's more squealing downstairs and you glance at the door over your shoulder before HG tugs you forward to kiss her.

"Hold on." You mutter, HG's hips lifting with a groan as you wiggle your hand back out of her pants and hop off of the bed.

"Myka." HG exhales shakily, watching you move across the room with bleary eyes. "What're you…?"

"Just, hang on." You say, hurrying to your desk and dragging the chair from beneath and you hear HG chuckle softly as you drag it across the room before shoving it against the door, right under the knob, effectively locking you and HG in.

"Aren't you brilliant." HG smiles and you grin as you move towards her.

"A really smart girl showed me that." You murmur as you drop to your knees at the foot of the bed and HG eyes you, teeth sinking into her bottom lip. "Now, take off your pants."

* * *

It happens quickly.

One day the two of you are more or less planning your future together and the next….

The next, your entire world is folding in on you.

You feel stupid for not seeing it coming. For not paying attention to the awful feeling you woke up with five days ago or the way HG completely avoided you for days then clinged to you like she never wanted to let you go. Because she knew she was going to have to let you go.

She's been talking in circles, weaving together apologies and explanations at a dizzying speed while the two of you stand on opposite sides of her bedroom.

"What are you saying?" You whisper, you challenge and Helena is watching you so apologetically that your own eyes burn with tears. You lick your lips, attempt to swallow down the surging emotion welling up inside of you while Helena exhales slowly.

"I'm leaving, Myka." HG says carefully and it feels like the world tips right from under your feet. "I spoke with my family and they…My parents do not see how I can live in the states and attend university while caring for my daughter and as a compromise they will pay for my tuition if I return to England and-and I will be with my Christina again."

"Oh." You croak weakly, the words rattling up from the depths of your chest and HG steps forward even as you step back, keeping vigilant distance between the two of you because your sure if she lays a hand on you you'll just crumble to dust against the pads of her fingers. "Okay."

"Myka, I am…" She stops, throat working as if the words are choking her and you shake your head. She looks afraid, like she knows she's killing you and you suck in a slow breath and focus on keeping your knees from wobbling.

"It's fine. You-your daughter needs you. And, I mean, free college…so…." You breathe, shaking your head and wrapping your arms around your self so you don't come undone. "I get it."

It sounds dismissive, an ugly sort of fake nonchalance that only magnifies your pain and you clench your jaw and breathe through your teeth.

And you've read hundreds of books, thousands of words but can't find anyway to communicate the way it feels like you're dying but HG is gazing at you helplessly, like she's sorry and she loves you and you swallow thickly.

"Myka…" HG tries again, voice so soft and hands fisting at her thighs while she watches you with glassy eyes, she's killing you and she's watching you die and maybe she's killing herself too and there's absolutely nothing either of you can do about it. Because you can't compete with HG's daughter, because you won't, because you don't, because Christina deserves her mother.

"She's going to be so happy to see you." You hiccup tearfully and the image of Helena holding her child emerges clearly from the static currently filling up your skull. "She is."

"I know." Is all Helena says quietly.

"When are you leaving?" You rasp and HG looks away from you, all the way on the other side of her bedroom and her hands flit up quickly to wipe at her cheeks. "When, HG?"

"Soon. Two weeks." She says after a moment, lifting her chin again and you laugh once, choked and hysterical while the entire world collapses around you. "Every time my brother, Charles, calls he tells me that she's been asking for me more and more often. And since I qualify for early graduation, my parents…and I… thought it was best to…"

And that makes you even more sad.

You sit at the edge of HG's massive bed because the room is vibrating and your ears are echoing and its getting harder and harder to breathe. You realize you're angry, at her because she made you feel this way and at yourself because you should've known better. You don't get fairytales and happy endings and you're stupid for thinking you could.

You listen to HG move around the room until she's kneeling before you "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"I love you." You whisper forlornly, gripping HG's hands desperately where they're clawing at you jeans at the knee.

HG kisses your knuckles, leans up to kiss you hard over and over before rising to push you back until you're lying back on her bed and when HG bends over you, you feel the wetness of her tears on your skin. "I love you very, very much, Myka Bering."

And you know its true, can feel it in your chest when she looks at you.

"Please say something." Helena pleads quietly and you look up at her sad, beautiful eyes.

"I should've known you were too good to be true." You whisper and HG breathes in raggedly before kissing you again.

* * *

You say goodbye on a Friday.

You've spent the last few days desperate and reckless, sneaking out every night to spend just a bit more time with HG and ditching class to spend those hours with HG tucked away in your secret space instead.

Your dad thinks you've lost it. Your sister is covering for you even though she has no idea what's going on while Pete actually takes notes in the classes you share on the days you just don't show up because he knows exactly what's going on.

But now you're at airport security, the world bustling around you while you try not to start sobbing. "This doesn't even feel real."

"A nightmare." Helena agrees but you shake your head and wipe at your eyes hard.

"No. I mean, you're going to hold your daughter in your arms when you step off that plane." You whisper, "That's no nightmare."

Helena only stares at you, tears filling her eyes but they don't fall and you wheel her suitcase around between the two of you.

"I am going to be in love with you forever, Myka Bering." She murmurs and you swallow hard. "I have something for you."

You watch her shuffle through the bag slung over her shoulder for a moment before producing an envelope. She hands it to you and you take it with shaky hands.

"What is this?" You croak, opening the envelope and pulling out what you realize is a plane ticket. HG reaches out for you and you take her hand, lacing your fingers with hers.

"I don't expect you to wait for me." HG begins, squeezing your hand tightly until you look at her face and she's not crying but she looks as exhausted as you feel. "You are brilliant and you are beautiful and anyone with minimal intelligence can see that you are…that you are amazing."

"This is a ticket to Paris." You mutter, getting a good look at the ticket and HG smiles tearfully. "HG…"

"But I will be waiting for you at the Lourve the day after your graduation nonetheless and if, for some reason, you still think of me…"

"HG, I'll never stop thinking about you." You cut her off and she watches you with shinning eyes for a long moment.

"There's no way to be certain, Myka. You said yourself that feelings can not survive time and distance." HG murmurs and you frown, lifting your tangled fingers to wipe her tears with your thumb.

"That's not the same."

"Myka."

"Then what is this ticket?" You wonder and HG licks her lips and kisses the back of your hand.

"Hope." She sighs, "Foolish hope that you'll meet me on the other side of the sky, I suppose."

You can't help but kiss her then so you do, right in the middle of the crowded airport and when the world doesn't end, you feel even more sad.

She's wearing your sweatshirt, sabers crossed on the front and your name stitched over her heart and you whisper. "I want my sweatshirt back."

"Never." She laughs wetly, kissing you again.

"Don't you dare tell me goodbye." HG murmurs urgently against your lips and you smile a bit.

"See you around, Helena." You croak, the words scratchy on the way out and you kiss her one more time before letting her go.

"Farwell, Myka."

And then she's disappearing into the crowd and you have no other option than to let her.

* * *

You've been running for what feels like ages.

Your chest aches from the cold air and the tips of your ears are icy but you ignore it in favor of the soft, rhythmic thud of your sneakers on the rubber track.

Your thighs burn and your calves ache but you don't stop, keeping your stride even and your mind deliberately blank even as you notice Pete standing in the grass at the heart of the track, watching you do laps because HG is currently boarding a plane back to England and taking your heart with her.

The thought makes your breath hitch, ruins your metrical exhalations and you stumble a little, trying to blink sudden tears out of your eyes and failing.

You know you scared him when you showed up on his doorstep days earlier, red eyed and inconsolable, and told him that HG was leaving after all but he only wrapped you in his arms and whispered apologies to you for the longest time.

Pete walks to the track, stopping at the white dashes on the turf that mark the beginning and the end and blocking your path purposefully. He doesn't move as you near him, just stays still and solid and opens his arms for you when you stumble into him with a sob.

He doesn't tell you everything is going to be okay, just holds you tight while you fall apart

You're not sure how long you stand out there in the cold but eventually Pete ushers you back to his truck, takes you home and walks you up to your room. You barely step out of your shoes before crawling into bed and beneath the covers.

"I'm so sorry, Mykes." Pete murmurs and hot, painful tears burn your eyes again as he smoothes a hand over your hair. You close your eyes as he does it over and over. You know your dad would absolutely murder Pete if he found him in your bedroom and you know your sister is about to echo that sentiment when she stumbles upon the two of you.

"Tracy, can I talk to you for a second." Pete whispers like he thinks you're asleep instead of dying. You drift off for a moment, time slipping through your fingers easily because you're not trying to catch it and when you come to with gritty eyes Tracy is in bed with you.

She's curled up against your side and you can feel her looking at you as a hot tear spills from the corner of your eye, racing towards your ear as you blink up at the ceiling. Tracy wipes it away with her thumb then throws her arm over you, nudging you onto your side so she can curl up behind you and she presses her forehead to your shoulder and holds you as you cry.

* * *

"You've been very quiet lately." You dad says as the two of you stock shelves and you shrug, tucking a book in the shelf. He really means you've been sad lately, spending hours closed up in your room while Tracy does your chores for you and deflects questions from your parents. Your mom notices too and has taken to cooking all of your family "Trace told me that your friend had to move back to England."

And you think about telling your father right then and there that HG was way more than a friend, that you held her hand and you kissed her and you love her but you're too tired to deal with the heart attack that would probably give him. "Yeah."

"You know," He starts with a deep breath and when you glance at him he's rubbing his jaw thoughtfully. "An intelligent man once said something along the lines of 'Don't be dismayed at goodbyes, a farewell is necessary before you can meet again and meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are soul mates.'"

You turn to look at your dad then and he gives you a half smile before disappearing deeper into the bookstore.


End file.
